


No Matter How You Sell It, Team 7 Spells Trouble

by InaudibleTacit



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Chūnin Uzumaki Naruto, Fuuinjutsu Master Uzumaki Naruto, Gen, Good Kimimaro, Good Mizuki, Medic Uchiha Sasuke, Not Canon Compliant, Sarcasm, Uzushiogakure | Hidden Eddy Village, Wave Mission, and can seal chakra and stuff, and guilt, major character death isnt team 7, naruto has an inn, other tags to be added when i remember to add them, sasuke really likes animals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21991978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InaudibleTacit/pseuds/InaudibleTacit
Summary: Team 7 only has three members (including Kakashi), but the Hokage accepted their request to take a C-ranked mission regardless, which was maybe the best and worst idea he had, simultaneously.In which: Naruto is a chūnin and was unaware he was unofficially joining Team 7, Kakashi is Naruto’s crazy uncle, Sasuke is really good with animals and completely a dork at heart and Sakura decides ninjutsu sounds fun.
Relationships: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto, Mizuki & Uzumaki Naruto, Sai & Uzumaki Naruto, Team Dosu & Mitarashi Anko, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 81
Kudos: 208





	1. The Mission to Wave

**Author's Note:**

> I intend to use very little Japanese (as I am not Japanese), but some words that are often used in the English dub (shinobi, sensei, jonin) I do intend to use. For example, I’m just going to be using shadow clone jutsu instead of kage bunshin no jutsu. Hopefully that’s ok, it’s just easier to write and easier to understand I think.

Sakura breathed heavy and hard after sparring— _losing_ —with Sasuke for the past hour. He was amazingly good and Sakura felt like she chose the right boy to crush/have a one-sided rivalry with.

Sakura always assume Sasuke didn’t talk (like, at all) because…well, it was the cool thing to do. Why was that cool again?--actually, scratch that, Sakura didn’t care about the reason, it was _hot_ , or as much as a twelve-year-old could describe something as hot from hearsay (she was “too young” to know that stuff but whatever). But yeah, rethinking her thought process of liking Sasuke, she was, frankly, dehumanizing him. She didn’t want to do that. In a world where ninja were meant to be emotionless and dispassionate, she didn’t want her ideal relationship to be that way, too.

So she decided to actually pay attention. She took Sasuke painfully off his pedestal and found, shockingly, _humanity_.

He was really, _really_ socially awkward with absolutely no conversational skills (so that whether or not he wanted to participate in a conversation, he looked like he was, albeit aloofly), but he could be surprisingly _soft_ . She knows, she was just as surprised as you. At first, Sakura hadn’t meant to stare, but when she stumbled upon him gingerly petting a rabbit, then contentedly feeding the ducks, nursing a bird with a broken wing back to health and giving stray cats some milk Sakura couldn’t help but gape in _wonder_. 

There was a heart beneath all those walls. A heart that he wasn’t trying to hide so much as people were trying to not notice it.

“I’m tired of D-ranks,” Sasuke said with a huff.

“Yeah, me too. They don’t teach us anything, and we only have two people on our team, how does Lord Hokage expect us to pull out _all_ of the weeds in a field _by ourselves_? Kakashi-sensei doesn’t count, he doesn’t do anything, anyway.”

Sasuke agreed with a grunt. Sakura sometimes felt that and “Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!” were the only words in his vocabulary.

“Hey! You know what? We should ask Hokage-sama this afternoon when we get our mission assignment for the day! I think I’ll go insane if I have to catch that damned cat--”

“Tora.”

“Huh?”

“Her name is Tora.”

Sakura laughed, “Yeah, if I have to catch _Tora_ one more time or babysit another brat, then I’ll rip Kakashi-sensei’s arms off and dye his hair blue!”

Sasuke would never admit it (not that he’d deny it either, just never dignify the accusation with a response), but Sakura heard him snort under his breath. 

**  
  
  
  
  
**

“Uh, excuse me, Lord Hokage,” Sakura began, horrified by the current listings of D-ranked missions he provided.

“Yes?” he replied, lifting his unamused gaze to match hers.

“W-we’d, uh,” dammit, where’d that courage from before go? She cleared her throat before continuing, “we’d like to take on a higher level mission, if that’s alright.” _If this works, no more D-ranks, at least for now, remember that_. That made her confidence rise.

“We’re obviously not ready for a B-ranked, we’re genin, but D-ranked are too simple and never challenge our skills in a way that is...beneficial to our progress.”

Sasuke agreed, stepping up from behind her, “We understand the importance of supporting the village, but we need actual experience if we ever want to get anywhere.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow (or maybe two, but Sakura couldn’t actually see the other one) when Iruka, who was sorting through papers beside the Hokage, interjected, “Sakura, Sasuke, are you sure about this? You practically just graduated, and all together you only have three of a four-person team.”

The Hokage seemed about to side with Iruka before a figure from behind the Hokage butted in, “Aw come on, Old Man,” the figure began, and Sakura could distinctly tell they were a he, if a little older than them--wait, did he just call the _Hokage_ “Old Man”? Sakura felt like she might faint-- “Remember when I came here asking the same thing? I didn’t even ask nicely and here they are, all proper and giving you _reasons_. How could you turn them down? Look in their eyes, they’re ready.”

Sakura could tell something was off about this ninja. He was too loud, too lively, _too human_. 

Was he an Anbu? He certainly didn’t wear their conventional armor, and was _in the open_ , having a _conversation_ with the Hokage that consisted of actual words. But he had the mask and Sakura hadn’t even noticed him even though he was standing right in front of her. 

It took her aback. 

She didn’t mind though, if it meant she didn’t have to go on another D-ranked mission. 

Lord Hokage also seemed taken aback by the impromptu exclamation, but Sakura could tell the Hokage had made his decision. 

“Fine,” The Third Hokage said, exasperated, “Fine, I’ll give you a C-ranked mission. Send in our visitor.”

Sakura...wasn’t impressed.

“This man here is Tazuna,” the Hokage began once more, “Recently, the Land of Waves has had a resurgence of the son of a former criminal network headed by a man named Gato. Tazuna here wants you to guard him and his family, then locate the hideout of Gato’s son. You are not to engage and will immediately send word once you have located it. I repeat, _you are not to engage_. It is a bodyguarding and intelligence gathering mission, nothing more. Understood?”

“Understood!” Sakura said, enthusiastic.

“Understood.” said Sasuke, unenthusiastic.

**  
  
  
  
**

There was...something. On his chest. A small, maybe soft thing? And another...warm(?) thing almost _petting_ his face. A...what?

Drowsily, Naruto peeked one of his eyelids open that, in his humble opinion, should stay sealed shut for at least a week further. Woe was he, certainly.

His eyes decidedly didn’t focus on the weight occupying his chest, and honestly, he couldn’t blame it, inclined to agree with its course of action and drifted off once more with a satisfied sigh.

But by then it was too late, as the weight had caught his brief lapse in his almost comatose state and took it in stride.

_It bit his face._

He shot up _gracefully—gracefully goddammit—_ as if a fire was lit under him, and he tumbled _elegantly_ out of bed.

“Ow, ow,” he said, rubbing the afflicted area with an expression of utter mourning before retracting his hand only to find it covered in _slobber_.

Naruto gave a cry of anguish and with the proper amount of dramatics from being _woken up to his face having been someone’s human chew toy_ said “I’m up, I’m _up_!” 

The perpetrator of said offense, leisurely sitting on the bed, tail wagging unhurriedly in the late afternoon sun, paid his _obvious_ distress no mind. 

Naruto—who already had an idea of who this fiend might be—had his suspicions proven correct by the gruff voice of, you guessed it, Pakkun.

“Naruto,” was all he said before jumping onto Naruto’s lap, raising one side of his head as an invitation. Naruto had half a mind to just throw him out the window (in the most un-animal abusive way possible, of course, but just to be sure he’d have to make sure there were no witnesses), yet that was merely a half a mind, and the other half conceded immediately, quickly followed by the other to pet the ninja dog. 

“Kakashi sent you?” Naruto was much more awake now, but there was a fine line between _awake_ and _alert_ and Naruto was nowhere near the latter.

Pakkun turned suddenly serious, and, no, it didn’t help Naruto to wake up, but it did cause his eyebrow to raise significantly, “Ever heard of the Demon Brothers?”

“From the Hidden Mist?” Naruto wasn’t keen on memorizing the listings in the infamous Bingo Book of missing ninjas and potential threats, until it became apparent that he _wasn’t allowed_ to see it, thus he knew them all by heart, more or less (mostly less, but something was better than nothing, he supposed).

Pakkun nodded, “They attacked Kakashi and his genin earlier today.”

“Huh? Seriously? He has the Uchiha on his team, right? Oh wait, hasn’t he not developed his sharingan yet--”

“They were after the client.”

That made Naruto pause, and, looking ponderous for a brief moment, said with a sigh, “What does this have to do with me again? Shouldn’t you be reporting this to the Hokage?”

“You’re the back-up, idiot.”

“What, why?!”  
  


“Less paperwork.”

And Naruto had to agree with him there.

**  
  
  
  
**

Naruto understood Kakashi’s concerns; he was worried about protecting the client, his students and himself all while defending against a foe that was, well, realistically, at least a jonin-level threat. Even so, the Chūnin Exams were coming up and Naruto was going to be a _proctor_ , not some off-the-records-but-still-kind-of-in-the-records-because--the-Hokage-assigned-it hiding in the shadows to make sure no one was killed during the Chūnin Exams, _actually participating_. 

The Chūnin Exams were stressful, annoying, a hassle and an all-around pain in the ass, but they were...special to him.

He himself was kinda just made a chūnin because no one quite knew what to do with him. His genin team, well… he didn’t want to think about that. He never quite felt like he deserved to be a chūnin, but here he was. 

At least at the Chūnin Exams, no one was _too_ strong and it was one of the few times he ever felt like his opinion was worth something. While watching the proceedings on the side of the Old Man, he’d always ask Naruto during consultations of promoting former genins if he’d recommend any, from _any_ part of the exam. 

He’d always had a few. A few select individuals who he felt would be excellent, but then he over-thought it; they weren’t in war, they didn’t need chūnins fast, and if they couldn’t make it to the final rounds, then, as far as Naruto was concerned they wouldn’t make it out there. A few months (or years) for more training wouldn’t hurt anyone, right? 

(He wasn’t going to have someone’s blood on his hands because they weren’t ready for chūnin.)

With all this in mind, he was, frankly, _ecstatic_ for the Chūnin Exams, and might break his self-proclaimed “Ninja Way” (trademark, Naruto Uzumaki, thank you very much) and murder Kakashi if he makes Naruto late to this, too. 

That being said, Kakashi had already signed Team 7 up for the exams (yes, Naruto was surprised, too, seeing as they were short a member and barely genin), so he couldn’t _possibly_ let them be late, right? Right?

(Naruto was sure Kakashi was late for _absolutely. Everything._ Just to make his life a living hell.)

**  
  
  
  
**

Rubbing her eyes, Sakura sighed as she eased down next to the fire, trying to calm herself from the day’s events. She did _well_ , but almost _died_ , the wound in her hand seemed to throb in response, and she sighed. At least Kakashi had said he was retrieving backup in the form of “Uzumaki Naruto,” so she had at least that to look forward to.

A long while ago, Sakura realized she would have to be the “leader” in interactions if she wanted any form of relationship between her _extremely_ social-inept teammate and teacher, so--as she did in most conversations--she began, “So, Kakashi-sensei--”

But was cut off with a “Oh hello there Naruto.” 

And she didn’t have any time to process this statement because a _horrific_ face spoke with an equally horrific voice from right behind her, punctuating every syllable, “Hello Sakura.”

And, uh, Sakura punched it. In the face. Really really (reallyreallyreallyreally) _hard._

**  
  
  
  
**

When Kakashi had discussed with them the...predicament of one Team 7’s formation, Sasuke at first was...concerned, for lack of a better word, expecting it to simply kill him. Well maybe not kill _him_ , but most definitely Sakura. 

Kakashi had enthusiastically (in which he means, as enthusiastic as a jonin of his caliber could articulate; it honestly somewhat took Sasuke aback as to how he could display his excitement in a way at all visible to a genin like Sasuke. He decided to take it as his ability to read people growing, as Sakura didn’t seem to notice it at all) suggested that he could recommend a low-ranking chūnin to replace the empty spot in their team.

(During that time, the two had danced around the idea, never really confronting the problem, until the day before the week period Kakashi had given them to think about it, seeing the looks of consternation the topic brought upon them.

Sasuke just supposed they weren’t going to talk about it, which was fine. He didn’t care either way.

“Sasuke,” Sakura said, resolve surprisingly apparent for something besides courting himself or her rivalry with the Yamanaka girl, “I...I won’t be so naive as to say I know you, or even know you at all, for that matter, but we’re the top of our class, godammit, and we don’t need some nobody chūnin to-to sink to our _level_ in order to be the best team out there, so I’m telling Kakashi-sensei no, and-and you’re not going to stop me!”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow but nodded nonetheless. He agreed with her, even if he didn’t quite understand her anger; after all, they were lucky to not have gotten with the dead last. Wasn’t it the dog boy for this year? Yeah, Sasuke would choose Sakura any day over him.)

Analyzing the moment now, Sasuke realized that Kakashi was _most definitely_ talking about this particular chūnin, of whom Kakashi seemed to have an oddly...familial relationship. It was disconcerting, and made him, as most things did--for he never truly could forget about it--, think of his family. It also made him realize that Sakura must have seen Kakashi’s excitement, but misinterpreted it as him being patronizing (no doubt a feeling fueled by a particular blonde-haired, blue-eyed kunoichi). 

Something about the chūnin, named Uzumaki Naruto, was off, somehow. Oh wait, yeah, he’s absolutely, utterly, unbelievably obnoxious. After near scaring Sakura into the Pure Lands with the rest of his clan, resulting in the subsequent beat down of Uzumaki, and Sasuke and Sakura’s eyes meeting for one, agonizing moment in realization of what just happened, Kakashi slightly--ever so slightly--lowering his book (which did not scare Sasuke almost as much as Naruto did to Sakura _at all_ ), another agonizing moment of staring, them thinking _Kakashi’s going to kill us, isn’t he?_ , the two genin rushing to ask the feigning-dead looking Uzumaki _“Are you alright!?”,_ Uzumaki quickly shutting down using Uzumaki to refer to him, _“Just call me Naruto, you know?”,_ Sasuke questioning why anyone would want to be referred to something that sounds like fish cake roll when they didn’t absolutely _have to_ , accidently thinking said question aloud, Naruto (he supposed) laughing loud and warm, almost killing Sasuke from barely restrained embarrassment and Naruto and Sakura hit it off.

It was like something clicked between the two, and a pitiful swirl of envy churned his gut, the way in which the two seemed _so normal?_ Sasuke had _never_ been able to connect with someone like that, and now he actually had a kinda-sort-of friend and the _minute_ a new kid strolls along Sakura’s more friendly with him than she'd _ever_ been with him. Though, he supposed he had only himself to blame for that.

The real problem, though, was that they looked like, well, friends. Was it so hard to ask for a genuine friend? Not some overzealous fangirl. 

But then the words of _him_ came back; he’d have to _kill_ his best friend. How could he ever possibly do that? If he could, first off, ever get close to someone to _admit_ that they were his best friend, the act in it of itself would be tarnished by the fact that he intended to kill them soon after. But… he didn’t want to do that. He really didn’t. 

And he didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse that Uzu— _Naruto_ had decided to force him into the conversation, shoving him one of his trademarked “Uzumaki Naruto Speciality Bento” stressing the O’s, that he had pulled out of a scroll, abruptly cutting off his dark thoughts in favor of wishing he was part of his collar. 

**  
  
  
  
**

Almost right off the bat, Naruto mixed up Sakura and Sasuke’s names. 

“They’re so similar!” Naruto whined.

“Barely,” Sakura scoffed.

“What? No way!” He looked pleadingly to Sakura-- _no, Sasuke, dammit Naruto--_ who just gave him an unamused glare, before sighing and turning to Kakashi, and with hands outstretched and squeezing as if Kakashi would give him the support in a physical form, begged “C’mon, back me up here!”

Kakashi sighed, and said without looking up, “No, you’re just stupid.”

“What the hell, you closet perv! You did the exact same thing when you first told me about ‘em! I got the habit from you, you know!”

Naruto was loud, annoying, boisterous and noisy. But Sasuke and Sakura decided individually they didn’t mind this “nobody chūnin” hanging around.

“Well,” said Sakura, “here’s a good way to remember: my hair’s pink like cherry blossoms.”

“Oh yeah!” Naruto said enthusiastically, jotting it down in a small journal Sasuke didn’t realize he had.

“Uh huh! And Sasuke, he has black hair, like soy _sauce_.”

Naruto nodded vigorously, spending far too long writing what appeared to only be “Sasuke = soy sauce hair,” and Sasuke didn’t know if he was a fan of that imagery. But the penmanship was beautiful. He had not taken Naruto to be interested in the arts.

Kakashi, noticing Sasuke’s interest explained, “Naruto’s a very special type of ninja,” setting his book aside (which was... _wow_ ) to examine said calligraphy, nodding almost proud, “he doesn’t specialize in ninjutsu or taijutsu, not even genjutsu for that matter,” he briefly handed the paper over to Sakura--much to Naruto’s chagrin--before she handed it, thoroughly impressed, back to Naruto, who quickly pocketed it on the belt adorning the organized chaos that was his outfit, “it’s called fūinjutsu.”

Naruto made some vain attempt at dissuading the attention from him, before sighing and sulking to the outcast of the group, Tazuna--who was drinking (or maybe sulking, as well, probably both) at the base of a tree away from the fire--and, handing him a bento, Naruto sat down next to him.

From where he was currently, Sasuke couldn’t quite tell what was going on, but could see Tazuna’s movements get sloppier and sloppier, the more and more of the bento he ate. Sasuke looked down at his own, worriedly, but felt no such affliction. Kakashi saw this as well, and blinking, said “Oh, don’t worry about that, he’s just making sure Tazuna doesn’t get in the way in case something happens on our way to Wave. He won’t do that to you unless you ask him to.”

It still made Sasuke feel uncomfortable, though, “Did Naruto ask _him_ ?”   
  


“Yes, he’s not a bad kid, trust me.”

Sasuke nodded and rubbed the sore spot at the back of his neck that thrummed with constant aches ever since it appeared (it was now just a nervous tick he hated, though), then continued eating when Sakura interrupted, “Um, excuse me Kakashi-sensei, did you say fuinjutsu? That’s just sealing things, isn’t it? I, uh, didn’t know you could specialize in it.”

“Oh well, many people can’t. You’re lucky enough to meet one of the very few skilled fuinjutsu ninjas alive today. You’d be surprised by what someone can do with it.”

Sasuke watched, half-listening, massaging his neck (had it been hurting more this trip, why?) as Naruto pulled a small scroll from his belt full exclusively of the same sized, same colored scrolls (sans the journal, of course), of which he opened to unseal _a lot_ more scrolls. After he opened one—wait, could it be? _More scrolls?_ Who could’ve imagined. Naruto mentally debated between the same colored scrolls in different sizes (oh yes, some much needed variety) before finally settling on a fairly large scroll, rolled it out, and, with streamlined reflexes and precision, plucked a hair from the unconscious Tazuna’s head, slammed the hand with the hair down on the center of the scroll, muttered something Sasuke couldn’t make out, and, in a poof, Tazuna was gone.

Well Sasuke hadn’t seen _that_ before. Sealing a living person in a scroll, huh.

“Hey, Kakashi-sensei,” Sasuke asked, forcing himself to stop rubbing his neck, to which Kakashi acknowledged in a slight tilt of his head, “What’s your relationship with him, Naruto I mean?”

Kakashi sighed, “It’s...complicated, and I’m not up to explaining it, either.”

Sasuke just glared.

**  
  
  
  
  
**

“Why’d you knock him out?” Sasuke asked to Naruto after he had re-sealed the seals inside the seals (not confusing, not at all).

“Huh? Oh, uh, sealing a living thing can be quite... _uncomfortable._ For the person and the scroll.” Thus, Naruto put them to sleep, sprinkled on a teeny genjutsu and bam! The weird darkness and vertigo and _loneliness_ of being in a place beyond time and space were gone. Free of charge! 

Naruto’s genjutsus weren’t _bad_ , _totally not,_ in actuality, he had heavily considered changing specialities and becoming a full-time genjutsu-user. He _loved_ the harrowing process of trying to weave his chakra into the mind flowing and turbulent mind of the target. Like using a blanket in lieu of string for sewing. Absolutely _terrific._

Soon after, Kakashi “offered” (as much as “I’ll take watch” could be an offer) to take the first watch, but Naruto immediately shot him down. He all but shoved the insufferable man into his sleeping bag, all the while said insufferable man insisted that “gravity was increasing on him,” and refused to stay upright, falling into the blonde with the most zeal Naruto had seen on him (second only to when he lost his book a while ago, horrifying).

Sasuke and Sakura (like soy sauce and cherry blossoms, remember that) went to bed without a hitch, with the exception of one pinked-haired kunoichi not-so-subtly worming her way to one Mr. Dark-And-Gloomy who promptly even more not-so-subtly wormed his way away from said pink-haired kunoichi, to which she begrudgingly sighed in defeat. 

_Aw, so little Sakura has a little wittle crush on the little Uchiha._

Naruto didn’t find it would quite work out. Of course, when reviving a clan from near extinction, one can’t be picky, but the infamous “Last Uchiha” couldn’t just marry (if, of course, Sakura’s end goal was marriage) _anybody_ , if he really wanted to revitalize his clan, it would be smarter to wed with someone with a higher position. Integrate into a larger clan and bring the Uchiha name back to its former glory. 

But Naruto could tell Sasuke didn’t care for such a thing; Naruto had the distinct feeling that he might just marry Sakura out of spite to keep from sinking to the level of “needing help” from anything else except his fists and kunai. 

And that. That’s what’s been bugging him about Sasuke! He’s too stubborn to ask for help, the little stinker!

Naruto chuckled to himself as he jotted down these notes for a future conversation with Kakashi. 

He’d like to help Sasuke, he really would, and this was currently the best bet he had. 

His original idea was to force Sasuke into long-range fighting or maybe support (he wasn’t holding out any hope for the latter, Sasuke was a powerhouse, needing to be front and center of everything)—not wanting him to get the...uh, _bloodthirstiness_ that Naruto felt he would on the front lines—he was brutally efficient in all ranges, after all. But that would also leave Sakura as the close-ranged fighter, and she wasn’t very much a fighter yet, was she?

He could tell she was proficient in earth, water and has killer chakra control. But that would be expected: smaller chakra reserves, easier control. She had quite the potential. He jotted this down, and, after a moment of contemplation, added “ice techniques.”

He could help her with that, easy. 

But back to Sasuke. He thought of it in Sasuke’s point of view. If he wasn’t damn near dying at every opportunity, he would feel useless. He needed to be on the front lines. Thinking about it, Sasuke must have been coddled his whole life, forced in the back from either pity or fear. He’d gotten the suspicion that the village feared his deviating, so he wouldn’t take the route the village did; “if you’re not sure about the motives, suppress them,” wasn’t a good rule of thumb in his book.

No, Sasuke needed to be trusted. He needed to be close-ranged, to look back and have a teammate covering him. He needed to feel like he was... _wanted_ . Not feared or pitied or _needed_. He needed a friend. 

Sasuke was physically strong as an ox, not so much mentally. 

That...would be harder to help with, but he’d be damned if he ever went back on his word.

Of course, he...hadn’t actually _given_ his word, and he wasn’t a part of Team 7, but it was Kakashi’s team and—you know what? It’s not even worth the thought, he was going to work these “cute little genin” into the dirt!

Certainly, he’d have to nail the idea of Sasuke and Sakura _working together_ —yes, absolutely crazy right?—so they can move comfortably around each other, then there’s always consecutively a close-ranged and mid-ranged fighter, seeing as Naruto planned on them both having, the majority of the time, heavy hitter roles. Oh well, looks like Kakashi’s going to be backup this time, poor thing. 

Looking down at his extensive notes, Naruto couldn’t help but feel a _teeny_ bit of excitement kindling, before returning back to his duties of the night watch. 

Or, he would have, _seriously_ , he would have, if not for some rustling—something trying to stay silent—piqued his ears, raising his hackles as he switched impressively fast from “the doofy dork who owns an inn” to “shinobi.”

Naruto didn’t have the Byakugan, but he could damn well sense chakra, and those three jōnin level signatures in the distance was not something he could ignore. 

He’d leave some shadow clones, just in case. 

**  
  
  
**

They had been trailing Kakashi and his team, from what Naruto could gather, based on their equipment. But they weren’t talking, which was Naruto’s only form of information gathering in this situation, other than observation. There wasn’t much to observe though. 

They carried light, looked exhausted and wore headbands from a village he couldn’t identify. They didn’t have a slash through them, so likely they weren’t rogue, but since when was there a hidden village with a music note as it’s symbol?

There were only three that he could distinguish, it wasn’t _great_ odds, but in case anything happened, he would release one clone and the other would wake up Kakashi who would either use the scroll Naruto gave him to summon him back or reverse summon himself here. 

He wasn’t too worried about himself, no. Naruto was worried about who sent them. Who they were after. They were ninja, _unknown_ ninja. An entire team was only a few days outside the Leaf Village and, as far as Naruto was concerned, _no one knew about it_. 

Less paperwork his ass. 

Naruto had begrudgingly accepted that this mission back to Wave, the country of his first “C-ranked” would go as good as it did last time. He wouldn’t fail Team 7 like he did his own team, though. 

God, Naruto wouldn’t be surprised if Zabuza and Haku crawled out of the grave to have that rematch Zabuza had promised. 

Deciding that he had waited enough—he was only going to get the ninja stationary once, as far as he was concerned—, Naruto silently went through a series of hand signs before whispering “Secret Jutsu: Crystal Ice Mirrors.”


	2. Fire & Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto vs. Team Dosu

Naruto certainly wasn’t as precise or excellent as Haku with senbon or chakra control to keep the jutsu from sucking him dry. His tactic, instead, was to be as fast and powerful as possible; it was much more efficient that way.

Usually, fighting with the Crystal Ice Mirrors was as simple as a few slices of the Executioner’s Blade, but that wouldn’t work here, unfortunately. Naruto hadn’t figured out who these ninja were, so he had to take them back alive.

He sighed, positioning his mask on his face; he now understood the beauty of senbon needles.

Speaking of senbon needles, the girl in the group cursed, apparently noticing Naruto’s jutsu before he had even finished it. Ah, if only his genjutsu skills weren’t so abysmal. She yelled, “Dosu, Zaku! Up! We’re under attack!” and sent a shower of said needles. It had no effect.

“Shit,” said one of the boys in the group, “How’d they find us already?”

The one Naruto figured was the leader (based on the way he held himself) spoke up, “No...this is someone else, Lord Orochimaru didn’t inform us we were fighting any ice users. Personally, I thought the bloodline was extinct. Be careful.”

Naruto’s eyes widened.  _ Orochimaru? He  _ sent them? Naruto barely had time to consider the repercussions of such an idea—Orochimaru, the legendary and missing sanin (the  _ monster _ ), sent highly trained ninja to not only the Hidden Leaf, but a genin team? Damn, he wished they were after Tazuna, but what could the  _ Orochimaru  _ possibly want with a  _ carpenter _ —before the lady with long black hair launched explosive kunai at every ice mirror Naruto had up. 

Naruto cursed, releasing a burst of water from a scroll previously in his belt. Naruto launched into a flurry of hand signs, freezing the water in large, sharp spikes protruding every which way. These were harder to traverse into but certainly not impossible.

The clearing the ninja occupied erupted with a concussive  _ “boom,”  _ staggering Naruto for a brief moment. He’s gotta remember to halt the chakra flow to his ears when these things happen.

He recovered quickly, however, launching himself through the ice at incomparable speeds, flying through another series of hand signs, and, reaching out a hand to the woman, yelled “Fire Style: Celestial Prison!”

“Kin!” the girl’s--Kin’s--teammates yelled, horrified as she gasped in pain and shock before Naruto’s palm launched her to the edge of the ice prison, where she fell, unconscious. 

Naruto merged back into the mirrors, hurling himself to the one behind the collapsed Kin. Hauling her to her feet, Naruto dragged a kunai to the exposed part of her neck, “State your purpose,” he spat, voice somewhat distorted by the mask obscuring his opponents’ view.

“Or what?” said--judging by the way the other boy hissed the name out like a curse--Dosu.

Naruto figured the slight trickle of blood oozing down Kin’s throat would be answer enough, “I said,  _ state your purpose _ .”

The other boy, who Naruto assumed must be Zaku, snarled, “Why you! I’ll kill you!”

There was a definite shift in Zaku’s mood, crouching into a battle stance Naruto was unfamiliar with, holding his arms palms out to converge at a fixed point--an extremely inopportune position for jutsu.

Dosu fell into an equally unconventional stance, only one arm moving to guard his face.

Naruto decided to play it safe, though, choosing to retreat back to the mirrors, but this moment of hesitation would cost him.

“That old trick won’t work on us twice!” Zaku yelled, and Naruto was inclined to believe otherwise, but Naruto realized too late that it was an effort to stall him. 

A mind-numbing shrill invaded Naruto’s senses, and he dropped his kunai and the girl to clasp his hands tightly over his hypersensitive ears.

_ What kind of jutsu is this? _ He was winded, unable to concentrate; he couldn’t form hand signs like this. He needed to reenter the mirrors, fast. 

Zaku smashed this plan into bits, however, body flickering behind Naruto, smashing the ice mirrors accessible for entry with some sort of highly pressurized wind coming from his hands. 

Zaku reared a brutal kick his way, but Naruto evaded it with a simple substitution, appearing behind his foe with the intention of performing the Celestial Prison once more, but Zaku had better reflexes than that, spinning to continue his assault with renewed vigor.

Naruto cursed; the nauseating shrill stopped, but he was still disoriented, trying and failing to evade the gust that launched him to the center of the dome of ice mirrors. 

He recovered quickly, though, unsheathing two of the six chakra blades on his back that were once wielded as Fūma Shuriken by Mizuki before Naruto repurposed them.

Before the fight could go on any further, however, Naruto heard a cry from the edge of the ice prison: “ Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!”

**  
  
  
  
**

Sasuke fell into an uncomfortable slumber after Naruto offered to take the night watch. It wasn’t because he was unsure of the ninja’s capabilities--Kakashi trusted him, so he would try to, too. 

It wasn’t nightmares. 

It was his neck.

Normally, Sasuke could depend on its steady throbbing. He learned to ignore it. 

This? This was unbearable.

It pulsated, growing and reaching, trying to consume him whole. It was like fire, scorching him from the inside out. Before now, he had never paid any mind to it. It was a muscle not. He pulled something. Slept funny.

He couldn’t ignore it now.

It took everything he had to not scream and shrivel right there.

He was going to vomit.

Stumbling out of his sleeping bag, Sasuke’s vision swam as he hobbled away from the camp. Silently, upon a tree, a crow watched with unsettling patience. Sasuke didn’t notice.

Thinking back, when had this started? Back in the academy? Yes. Yes, that was it. He got sick once. It was no common cold, though. He got really, really,  _ really  _ sick. 

He understood why he was hesitant to remember it, now. He had been out for days, only waking for brief moments among the pain filled haze. He’d thought he was going to die. He couldn’t go to the doctor; he couldn’t walk. He couldn’t ask anyone for help; he lived alone. How the hell did he survive, anyway? He could barely raise a finger, let alone eat or take medicine.

That was beyond the point though, for, afterwards, the pain in the back of his neck began to throb. 

Wait, no. It started  _ before  _ the sickness. He remembered! He woke up one day with the most terrible pain in his neck, then he immediately fell ill. Was he getting sick again? Was he  _ terminally  _ ill? Was he--

Abruptly, a loud “ _ Boom _ ” in the distance cut off his thoughts. Sasuke wasn’t prepared for a fight, but the dizziness prohibited him from remembering  _ where the hell the camp was _ , so as far as he was concerned, that had to be it.  _ Who else would be out here? And so late, too? _

Sasuke ran as fast as he could with a foggy mind and shaky legs, but finally arrived at a small clearing. It was covered in a hemisphere of sporadically placed ice sheets that only served to confuse Sasuke more.

It was definitely not their camp, but Sasuke recognized one of the three combatants.  _ Naruto?  _ Sasuke thought, drowsily.  _ What’s he doing here? _

Sasuke was about to call out to him, before Naruto getting thrown into the center of the dome snapped him into focus.

It was practically automatic. He hadn’t even realized he was going through hand signs until a giant wave of fire flooded his vision.  “ Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!”

And promptly fainted. 

**  
  
  
  
**

As Dosu was encompassed in a vortex of bright red flame, Naruto slammed a proper Celestial Prison on his chest, ridding him of the worry that the drill-like sound would bore into his skull again.

Something about their mysterious visitor, Sasuke, showing up snapped him out of his “all kill, no funny business” mood; he...didn’t like it when he got like that. 

“Two down, one to go,” Naruto hummed--finally  _ finally-- _ merging into the mirrors again (it was a surprisingly nice feeling) and resheathed his chakra blades into their respective spot on his back. Launching himself to the mirror Sasuke had just collapsed in front of (which was... _ shit, he better be okay _ ), Naruto quickly snatched the genin inside with him.

“Hey, hey, Sasuke? You alright there?” Naruto lightly slapped his face, hoping the heat radiating off of them was just the jutsu making his hands too cold (or Sasuke fainting by virtue of Naruto’s pure  _ awesomeness _ ), not anything dangerous.

“Aw, c’mon! If you die, Kakashi’s gonna  _ kill me _ .”

“Hey!” came a scream from below him--the one and only Zaku--“Don’t forget about me! I’m going to kill you, then I’ll kill that little brat Sasuke and that stupid Tazuna!”

This confused Naruto. Orochimaru  _ was  _ after Tazuna (he’d file that away to think about later). Why? And how did he know about Sasuke. He hadn’t said his name loud enough for him to have heard, had he?

Making a gamble, Naruto drawled, trying to sound uninterested (it made Zaku’s type more invested in making him interested, after all), “Sasuke? You’re looking for  _ me _ ?”

He wasn’t Sasuke, obviously, but he wore a mask, and the low visibility from the night  _ might  _ allow one to mistake his blond hair for black.  _ Might _ . But they might not even know what Sasuke looked like. It was worth the risk.

Apparently it was enough for Zaku, though, blatantly disregarding his unconscious teammate warning them at the beginning of the battle that “this is someone else,” as he smirked, “So you’re the infamous ‘Last Uchiha,’ huh? Lord Orochimaru told me about you, you don’t look too special.”

Naruto gently placed the real Sasuke on the floor of the realm inside the mirror, opting to go along with the charade, “Orochimaru?” He needed to confirm something.

Zaku seemed genuinely offended at this, “ _ The  _ Orochimaru. The Legendary Snake Sannin?”

Naruto pretended like this information shocked him, he had known it was  _ that  _ Orochimaru, what other Orochimaru was there? But he had to check. “What could  _ Orochimaru  _ possibly want with Sas--er, I mean me?”   
  
“That’s really none of my concern, he just ordered us to kill you, so that’s what I’m going to do!” He punctuated his declaration with a “Decapitating Airwaves: One-Hundred Percent!” firing a wave of supersonic air his way that Naruto barely dodged in time to get Sasuke and him out of the way. 

As Zaku prepared for another blast, Naruto decided the fight had gone on for long enough and distributed shadow clones to varying mirrors. That way, Zaku would never quite know where Naruto’s attacks were really coming from.

Then, all of the clones fired a barrage of kunai and shuriken simultaneously . Zaku could barely dodge them all without collapsing, so he had no chance to see the real Naruto revert from a transformation of a kunai behind him.

A quick Celestial Prison and Zaku was down for the count.

Now, for the cleanup.

**  
  
  
  
  
**

Sakura woke up hesitantly. She  _ vehemently  _ opposed waking up any time earlier than what was absolutely necessary, but she was undoubtedly  _ awake _ .

_ Darn it _ , she thought, thoroughly annoyed. Huffing, she turned towards Sasuke to find...nothing. 

This didn’t  _ immediately _ worry her, he was just...answering nature’s call? That was fine. Psh, whatever.

She waited, though, unwilling to go back to sleep until she knew Sasuke was okay. She should stop worrying so much, it was  _ fine _ , it was Sasuke, after all.

So she waited.

And waited.

And after maybe ten minutes, she woke up Kakashi.

She told her it was fine, ‘ _ see, Naruto’s got watch--’  _

And pointed to a branch with  _ two  _ Narutos.

Sakura didn’t know the importance of this, but Kakashi did (it’s how they operated when split up--Naruto would leave Kakashi with a clone and Kakashi would leave Naruto with a clone. Whoever’s clone popped first signaled to the other that one of them was in trouble. Then, the other would release their clone to get a read of the situation. The only exception being when one was asleep, like here) and grabbed a scroll from his back. 

Sakura didn’t know the importance of the scroll as well, but grabbed onto Kakashi when he bit his thumb and slammed his hand down on the parchment nevertheless.

To her great surprise, they disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

**  
  
  
  
  
**

Naruto already knew he was a dead man when he heard the distinct ‘poof’ of his “enhanced” summoning technique behind him.

Dropping the remaining shuriken he had picked up, Naruto waved his hands, placating, in front of his face. By now, the ice mirrors had melted, the water safely sealed back into a scroll, along with the bodies of the three unknown ninja, and he was just finishing recollecting his ninja tools when a wall of impenetrable killing intent hit him like a brick. “I-I can explain, seriously, I can!”

Kakashi placed a firm hand on his shoulder, smiling sickly sweet with his eyes, “Oh yes, we’re going to have a nice,  _ long  _ talk, aren’t we?”

Naruto gulped.

**  
  
  
  
  
**

As Kakashi dragged one Uzumaki Naruto to the edge of the clearing they had been teleported to kicking and screaming, Sakura was left alone with one unconscious Uchiha Sasuke. She hadn’t known Naruto for that long, but...but he wouldn’t do  _ this, _ would he? No, he wouldn’t have let Kakashi catch him so easily.

Sakura glanced over to the duo, confused. Kakashi looked liked an unamused father, overly calm, and Naruto looked like a petulant child, stomping his foot just to further this effect. She could hear snippets, but not anywhere enough to understand at all what was going on.

She sighed, returning her attention to Sasuke. He looked...pained. His eyebrows were creased and he was softly panting.  _ He hadn’t looked sick on the way here, had he? _

Maybe some of the poison from the Demon Brothers had gotten into his system, too, somehow? Concerned, she placed a tentative hand on his forehead only to recoil immediately in shock. He was  _ hot _ . Really, really, really hot. But not in the good way. 

Even more concerned now, she reached with two fingers to check his pulse, but actually flung herself back at what she saw, barely suppressing a scream.

She turned to call over Kakashi, but Naruto had already noticed her fear and rushed over to her side. 

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

She was shell-shocked, simply pointing to the horrific affliction running up Sasuke’s neck, unable to form words correctly.

Naruto’s eyes followed the trail of her hand slowly, eyes widening when he witnessed the same sight she did.

He gulped again, but this time in actual fear. 

Because...because Kimimaro had the same--the  _ same goddamn thing on his neck, too _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would it be dumb to draw what I think Naruto looks like in this fic. I'm not that bad I sWeaR
> 
> Also, sORRY if it comes across as bashing of Orochimaru when Naruto calls him a monster. Those aren't my feelings of him, but Naruto has very valid reasons for hating him (as you will find out in future chapters) and is the main antagonist in this arc.
> 
> Also also, the 'enhanced summoning technique' is Naruto's prototype of Minato's flying thunder god technique that he doesn't know is a prototype of, but Kakashi is very proud nonetheless


	3. A Bad Thing™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Orochimaru's plans were pretty obvious from the start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, if you think about it, Kakashi's the only one out of team Minato to not become a jinchuuriki

Naruto looked like he was about to kill something, pacing (more like stomping) with an aura that screamed “fury,” insuring no one could reason with him.

“Uh, Kakashi-sensei…” Sakura tried to ask, completely lost, still in a state of semi-shock.

Her teacher just sighed, “Naruto.” No answer. “Naruto.” No answer. “Naruto!”

The blond-haired chūnin’s head jerked out of its emotional orbit following his pacing steps, and with his pursed lips, closed eyes and slight inclination of head, he said the equivalent of “what?”

They stared at each other. And okay, Sakura gets it, she’s a genin, but it was cold, dark and she-she was tired and, honestly, pretty (really) scared and—

“Can someone please just tell me what the hell is going on?” Immediately, Sakura clapped a hand over her mouth with an embarrassed flush at her sudden outburst. 

This took the two (idiots) back, apparently, though Naruto more visibly, and he shook his head, dispelling his thoughts (and how she hated being in the dark like this), before sitting down beside her, rubbing her back comfortingly and spoke with a much softer tone than she had ever expected:

“Hey, Sakura, I didn’t--we don’t--I mean…” he sighed, “We’re sorry.” It was at this point that Sakura realized she was very, very uncomfortably near crying because--because Sasuke (the Sasuke, her first crush, of whom she’d liked for as long as she can remember, her teammate, the lonely boy, the boy who was kinder to animals than anyone she’d ever seen, the strong and awesome Sasuke--he couldn’t die, right? Not now, please not now) was half-dead next to her with a weird, terrible, terrifying… thing all over him and she didn’t know what was going on. That’s what she did, she always knew what was going on, she might not be the strongest, or right all the time like she wanted, but she would be damned if she wasn’t informed. And it’s not just that, she almost died. Are all C-ranks like this? She thought all she would have to do was guard a family from some (if any) no-named thugs while Kakashi taught them some things on information gathering and everything would be all good. She’d get to leave the village, see the countryside; it’d be something fun, something...Something not like this. She was twelve, she couldn’t die, she never got to thank her parents, to say goodbye, to really appreciate them, to make up with Ino, to have her first kiss, to live--. But she wouldn’t cry, refused to, because ninja don’t cry.

But then Naruto’s face wrinkled in confusion, subsequently slackened in understanding, and, in an even softer tone than before, said, “Sakura, it’s okay to cry, you know.”

And she broke.

Kakashi grimaced at the shuddering and prone forms of his students. Naruto hadn’t recounted all the details to the way Kakashi would have liked before Sakura’s intervention disrupted them. Having understood the main ideas (Orochimaru, Sasuke fainting, Tazuna and Sasuke being targets), Kakashi was more worried than anything. Team 7’s first C-rank was not meant to go this way, that’s for sure. But it was also too late to cancel it, though, at least for him. He could send Naruto and Sakura back to the village with Sasuke, but the situation--meaning: Orochimaru being back--was far too dire, now. It wasn’t just about Tazuna, or his family or the Land of Waves. It was about the Leaf Village.

And that was...well, in the words of a specific Leaf Village clan, troublesome. Certainly troublesome.

Kakashi crouched to the level of one chūnin rubbing a soothing hand in circles around one genin’s back. Said chūnin recognized his intentions, using his unoccupied hand to pass him a scroll from his belt. Kakashi gave the shaking genin a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder, slung Sasuke over his own shoulder and walked out of the clearing, further into the forest.

This specific scroll was lined with everything from tracking to chakra absorption seals; anything that would keep it from being tampered with. If someone was able to separate it from Naruto, hundreds of countermeasures would already be in place, for good reason, too. There were just some things one couldn’t risk losing--a human life, for example. Naruto had already disabled said countermeasures, though, allowing Kakashi to open it if he was in a certain radius.

He had two things he would have to accomplish: 1) taking care of Sasuke’s curse mark and 2) taking care of Tazuna. Both thrilling options, certainly.

He didn’t particularly want to handle either of those tasks without Naruto, however. Talking to people was a chore and a seal of this caliber was a chore. The Evil Sealing Method--of which he would use to keep the curse mark at bay—required, well, an unfortunate amount of chakra but also called for (too) many symbols to be written in the caster’s blood. So yes, Naruto, with his faster healing abilities and larger chakra reserves, would be better suited to this, but Kakashi wasn’t known worldwide for nothing. 

Besides, he'd take losing a bit of blood over dealing with people anyday.

Sasuke had taken surprisingly well to the sealing, and that’s not just because he was already unconscious. His breathing seemed to level out, and he looked significantly more peaceful. Kakashi had met Anko, he’d read the “Team Mizuki” report. He understood what a “curse mark” was and what it did, in theory. What he needed to know was the when, (as the much dreaded ‘why’ was already something his brain had unhelpfully supplied, images of Kimimaro’s funeral flashing through his mind).

He’d have to ask Sasuke about it when he woke up.

Now then, only one thing was left to deal with: Tazuna. Great.

He was expecting to have the conversation all by himself, but as he reentered the clearing to lay a now sleeping Sasuke against a nearby tree, he couldn’t help but notice Sakura stand up on wobbly feet. She turned to Naruto and offered a hand to which he accepted with a smile. Sakura smiled shakily back.

Guess he’d leave Tazuna for later.

Naruto took it upon himself to restart Kakashi and his conversation from earlier; only this time, Sakura would be included.

“So,” Naruto began, “I was writing some notes on Sasuke and Sakura--by the way, Kakashi, I’ve got a lot of ideas for your team, you know? Here, lemme show you.”

He reached as if to pull something from his belt, but Kakashi stopped him halfway, “Later.”

He nodded, sheepish, “So, anyway, I all of the sudden sense some pretty high and unknown chakra signatures in the distance--they felt like jōnin, but when I fought them, man, they were kids, and I wrapped them up with my handy dandy ‘Celestial Prison,’ and hey, Sakura, I haven’t shown you how my jutsus work yet, have I? They’re so cool, actually, I was thinking you’d be awesome with one of them: Crystal--”

Kakashi coughed, and Naruto snapped back to attention, “Oh yeah, back to the point. So I think ‘huh, that’s weird,’ and I look and they’ve been following us, or, I mean, you guys. I know, I know, crazy, right? So I go in and catch them off guard, Zaku, Dosu...and uh, Kai? No, Kin, yeah, Kin. So, anyway, they all had sound attacks--or at least I think they all did, I took out Kai, no Kin before she could do any jutsu on me. And, guess what? They were wearing headbands with music notes. Then, Zaku just up and outed his team for being sent by Orochimaru--well, his teammate said that first, but he just kind of confirmed it--, but I know right? The Orochimaru.” Something dark passed through Naruto’s eyes at the mention of the name, but it was gone as soon as it came.

“T-the sannin Orochimaru?” Sakura squeaked.

Naruto nodded vigorously, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, crazy. Then he just out and told me he was here to kill Sasuke and Tazuna.”

Sakura gasped, but Kakashi just looked ponderous, saying, “That curse mark...why would Orochimaru want to kill someone he gave a curse mark to, and why Tazuna? What’s he got anything to do with Orochimaru?”

“Wait, curse mark?” Sakura interjected, “Is that what’s on Sasuke’s neck?”

Naruto sent Kakashi a wary glance, but Kakashi ignored it, “We’re not too sure what a curse mark is or how it works. But yes, that’s what's on Sasuke’s neck. As far as we can tell, Orochimaru only finds people he holds in very high regard eligible for one. It’s...unfortunately powerful, but extremely harmful. It’s near impossible to control, and prolonged usage deteriorates the mind. 

“There are these pills, though, that Orochimaru developed… they’re called ‘Mind Awakening Pills,’ if I’m remembering correctly. They’re meant to, well, ‘awaken’ the mind. They allow further usage of the seal, but they kill you, even just surviving the original application of the seal only has a ten percent survival rate. Straight and simple. There’s more to it, but we haven’t the time for it, yet. Basically, a curse mark is a Bad Thing.”

“That’s...that’s horrible. Will it--is he--”

“No. He’ll be fine. Curse marks become quiescent after periods of disuse. All he has to do is not use it and the seal I put on him will protect him from any outside forces.” Hopefully. “And what he’s going through now is not the symptoms of the initial implementation of a curse mark. My guess? The curse just acted up yesterday without him realizing.” 

Sakura sighed in relief, “That’s good. That’s really good.”

Tazuna found himself sitting in a field of flowers, watching the sun set. He didn’t know how he got there or when, but found himself unable to care. Then when he thought about how he should care that he doesn’t care, he found he didn’t care about that, either. He soon found himself falling to sleep, and in three long blinks, his eyes shut, content.

Then he woke up.

The fourth blink he found he was in the pitch black of night with three figures surrounding him. The same picture appeared on the fifth and sixth.

He shook his head, disorientated, “What is…” he asked, feeling the subtle itch to grab some alcohol.

“You’re awake!” one of the figures said--oh yes, Naruto. Reality came flooding back. 

He probably should have expected getting sealed in a scroll would give him a hangover. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, though.

The silver-haired man (Kakashi, right?) raised an eyebrow and, chuckling, passed him a flask. To his dismay, it was only filled with water. He drank it anyway.

“So, Tazuna, a C-rank, huh? Standard protection, was it? Minimal information gathering? Next to no conflict?”

Tazuna sighed and handed back the flask, “Those ninja from earlier...I had no idea. Gato’s son hasn’t been around long enough to afford missing ninja, or at least that’s what we thought.”

“But apparently he can afford the help of Orochimaru?”

Tazuna gaped, “Uh, Orochi-who-now?”

“He’s an S-class missing ninja from the Leaf.”

Tazuna’s eyebrows shot up way past his hairline, “There’s no way!”

“He sent men looking to kill you.”

“I--”

“Start telling the truth, Tazuna.”

“Or I’ll smash your entire sake collection!” Sakura chimed in.

Tazuna’s sweat dropped from the comment, but it did little to calm the storm that was his stomach currently, “Well...we can’t afford any more than a C-rank. These past few years...we’ve been steadily improving, more merchants coming in to trade, thus more consumers. More consumers means more jobs, and so on. 

“But somehow the Gato’s shit legacy screwed it all up. He showed up out of nowhere and suddenly has the funding to hire a S-rank missing ninja? The goal was to find where he was and bring the whole goddamn village if we had to. We were going to make an example out of him first, before he could make one out of Kaiza.”

“He’s got Kaiza?” Naruto interjected. 

“Yes,” he said solemnly, “And he’s completely curbed communication and merchant routes, we can’t get enough food for everyone, let alone any form of tool. Kids on the streets are going missing left and right--”

“Going missing?” Kakashi said, sharing a look with Naruto that translated to “Are you thinking what I’m thinking,” and Naruto returned it with the signature “Definitely” look. 

“Uh, yes, I just assumed it was him steadily growing in military strength from people who couldn’t say no.”

“You’re close, just thinking of the wrong person.”

“Wrong person, what does--”

“Orochimaru,” said Sakura, horrified.

“After the Nine-Tails attack, the Hidden Leaf had a surplus of orphans. It took far too long to notice when too many started going missing.” Kakashi said, face unreadable behind the mask.

Tazuna felt very distinctly that he wasn’t meant to hear this, that these were Leaf Village secrets, that the Leaf didn’t want outsiders (or even insiders) like himself knowing these things, but he listened with rapt attention nonetheless.

“Eventually, Lord Hokage uncovered Orochimaru’s machinations--kidnappings, experiments on children--it was...a lot.”

“Two groups of ninja ‘coincidentally’ come after a random bridge builder--one of which explicitly stating their affiliation with Orochimaru--, ‘coincidentally’ people start going missing in the same city of origin and ‘coincidentally’ a son of a long gone criminal empire rises to a position of hiring missing ninja out of the blue,” Naruto began, a look of extreme trepidation adorning his whiskered cheeks, “Frankly, I don’t think this has to do with Gato’s son at all.”

“This sounds like a cover-up,” Sakura said, then she paused, “But it doesn’t explain what Orochimaru wants with Sasuke.”

“Oh, I thought it was pretty obvious, when you think about it,” said Kakashi.

“Huh?” Sakura exclaimed.

“Yeah, he wants the Sharingan.” Naruto chirped. “Remember the thing about corroding the mind? Well, my guess is he’s planning on using Sasuke’s revenge on his brother to spin a story about how ‘he’s the only person strong enough to train him,’ or whatever.” Tazuna didn’t know why he wanted to kill his brother, but decided not to ask about it. (And yes, Naruto’s excellent tact once more blew Kakashi away, but it wasn’t like he was any better.)

For being an S-rank missing ninja, Tazuna thought they were certainly taking his status pretty flippantly.

“Then why would he try to kill him?”

“To test him,” Kakashi answered, “He did give him the curse mark.” (But that brought more questions to Kakashi: why had Orochimaru let them be caught? If his goal was to test him, how was the ninja meant to report back to him? They might have been a challenge for Sasuke--if Naruto’s description was anything to go off of--but he sent them when Kakashi was there? There had to be an ulterior motive.)

“Who’s testing who?” said a gruff voice from behind them all, and they turned to see one roughed up, stony, ‘cooler-than-you’ Uchiha Sasuke amble his way over to their little meeting. How he had woken up so early eluded them.

“Sit down and listen while the big kids talk,” Kakashi said with a wave, dismissing him (Sasuke had heard all of it, he knew), and Sasuke huffed, but joined them silently anyway. “This mission has gotten way out of hand. It’s good we were able to discover this information, but this is out of our league.”

“So you’re canceling the mission,” Sasuke grunted.

Before Naruto could protest, he held up a hand, “No, no, it’s too dangerous if we turn back now. We will continue the mission like normal--protect Tazuna and his family while we gather information on Orochimaru and the deceased crime lord Gato’s son. Understood?”

Among the differing forms of confirmation a distinct, “No!” was heard from Tazuna. “No,” he repeated, “Absolutely not. I will not...I refuse to risk the lives of children for an old man like me.” Not...not again.

The fiery eyes of Tazuna met with Naruto’s ocean blue ones. “Inari’s a kid, too. And you think we’ll be okay with having your blood on our hands?” the blond responded.

That shut him up. “You might have given up hope, hell, everyone in Wave might have given up hope, but I won’t. I made a promise years ago and I’ll make the same promise now. I won’t give up. I’m going to save your home because I never go back on my word. I’ll save Kaiza and Wave--with or without you.”

And that’s why, that’s the boy he knew. The boy he named the Great Naruto Bridge after.

And for the first time, Team 7 heard his genuine laugh, “You’re all a bunch of idiots.”

So, Naruto began, “Is the bridge still there?” By now, the sun was peeking just above the horizon and the group lamented their sleep deprivation. Except Naruto. Because running for half a day from the village then fighting off three enemy ninja on next to no sleep was fine. He was ready, he said, “full of energy,” he said. 

Sasuke wasn’t so lucky, he was feeling a million times better than before, and the ache in his neck had all but disappeared, but he was still not feeling “good.” At all.

He had heard them talking when he was “unconscious,” had chosen to stay “unconscious” because his head hurt and his entire body felt like it wanted to tear itself apart and scurry away into tiny, little Uchiha Sasuke pieces, because…

It was…

It was a lot to take in.

He told Kakashi it “appeared” when he was in the academy, he didn’t have any other information about it besides that, though, and Kakashi took it in stride.

He’s just surprised he didn’t notice it sooner. 

“What?” asked Tazuna, helping removing any evidence of their camp the night before. 

“The bridge. Is the bridge still there?” Naruto said, absentmindedly, too busy showering the ninja hound, Pakkun, with so much love and affection Sasuke thought he might just gag if it was directed towards him (it wasn’t because he was jealous and too afraid to ask to pet the dog. It wasn’t), eventually leading to Naruto handing Pakkun a bottle of shampoo that Sakura swiped away with a hiss, ‘This is mine, jackass!’ to which Naruto and Pakkun responded simeotaneously with their “Secret Jutsu: Super Mega Cute Puppy Dog Eyes!” but Sakura wouldn’t be swayed that easily, turning away with a huff. 

“W-well, yes, but we have to take another route--”

“Nope.”

“What?” Tazuna asked again, incredulous.

“I said no. We’re going on the bridge. People will know anyway that we’re guarding you, soon enough. We might as well make it a show of power. It’ll be good bait. So guess what? No scroll for you!” He laughed before returning his attention to Pakkun, situating scrolls on the dog.

“This one goes straight to the Hokage--” it was a scroll with a detailed report of their current affairs, apprehensions and a request for backup-- “This one’s for T&I--” it housed the three ninja that Sasuke barely got to see, let alone fight last night-- “And this one,” his voice suddenly very mischievous, “kindly hand it over to Sai, k?” Pakkun barked in affirmation, “Alright, is that everything?”

Sai? Was he a ninja, too?

“Uh yeah, Naruto,” Kakashi asked, glancing away from his very age appropriate book, pulling Naruto off to the side, “Doesn’t the Celestial Prison have a range before it...ah, burns the bearer alive?”

Sasuke’s eyebrow raised in interest, but Naruto’s face deadpanned to unimaginable proportions, “Kakashi, how long have you known me? I can’t quite...do that. Yet. It’s not like I can really practice on anyone!”

Kakashi just scratched his cheek, “Oh yeah, passed my mind.”

“I couldn’t leave the village if that was the case, you know?”

Kakashi had clearly meant to keep that conversation between the two of them, but Sasuke “overheard” it anyway. What? He’d need to know how to collect information inconspicuously if he wanted to be a ninja. It was practice, not stalkerish.

They looked to be ready to set off when Sakura handed one more scroll to Pakkun, bashful. “Can you, uh, can you deliver this to my mom and dad? They’re probably worried sick…” she chuckled nervously. 

Sasuke was quite surprised. He hadn’t really thought about Sakura, at all. (That was on him, really.) It just never occurred to him that she had people to go back to. A family, friends, a life. It was an odd concept, so foreign. He didn’t like the way it made him feel.

Pakkun nodded solemnly and she thanked him with fake cheer. 

Sasuke knew what that was. Naruto knew what that was. They all knew what that was.

No one was forcing her to come, and no one would shame her if she decided to go back with Pakkun. 

But she was forcing herself. She would shame herself. 

Sasuke was Bad with people and emotions, but he understood her there, and nodded at her in acknowledgement. 

With that all sorted, Kakashi ran a cursory glance through their feeble team, sighing, “This can only end in disaster.”

Normally, in response to that kind of declaration, one would say ‘no, it’s going to be alright!’ or ‘don’t worry!’ You know, reassurance. Naruto said nothing of the sort, however, and laughed, “Oh, it sure will.”

Sasuke got the feeling that maybe Naruto wasn’t the most sound minded individual out there. 

Ah, the new Team 7, off to new adventures, filled with only the most elite: a jōnin with “Tardiness” as a middle name, a chūnin with too much™ energy and friendliness, a boy with crippling trust issues coupled with an entire dead clan, and a girl with a crush that won’t stay hushed accompanied by absolutely no self-esteem. 

They would be fine. 

Completely. Fine.

It was a mantra that Sasuke had taken the responsibility to chant. 

And with that, Naruto raised a fist in the air and yelled “Alrighty! To the Land of Waves, we go!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I finished this chapter and was happy with it, then I rewrote half of it (originally half of team 7 was going back to the village but I wanted more team 7 bonding so here we are), and now I’m not sure. It’s basically an exposition dump and I get how you may think it’s really lazy?? I didn’t intend it to be like that, but I figured there’s no way Kakashi would continue the mission if they didn’t work through what they think Orochimaru’s plans might be
> 
> And holy crap perfectionism doeSn'T help with motiviation


	4. In Which Thinking is an Even Bigger Bad Thing™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Interrogation is not the best time to consider adoption, Anko.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ao3 formats weird so it has double spaces sorry I don't feel like going back and deleting every space per paragraph. Hopefully it doesn't impede your reading too much

There were four things worth note in the room:

1) Its location. It must have been around noon. The outside radiated the Village Hidden in the Leaves’ usual sunshine and birds chirped contentedly outside the room’s open window. The room was part of an all but deserted inn, within walking distance of the Hokage Tower, just barely breaching the grand forests surrounding the village. It allowed easy access to many common areas of visitors of the village: the Hokage, the marketplace, the forest and a direct path to Hokage Rock. Yes, it resided in a very populous area, but was almost always deserted. It was more of a tourist attraction than inn, though, ignorant villagers wanting to get a peek at the “demon child,” always gossiping with their friends as they sneaked indiscreet looks inside. How the inn had stayed running, the room’s occupant would never know. 

2) The room itself. Minimalistic in nature, typical of a Ryokan, its floors were lined with straw matting, accompanied by sliding doors to the balcony and entryway. With the lack of any imposing furniture, however, the room was very open (possibly too open). 

Horizontal lines and geometric rectangles were expertly placed here, mitigating the homesickness from staying in an inn by naturally inclining the mind to think of rest, of sleep. That is what should be expected, however, since the occupant of the room designed it. It relayed mostly muted greens and browns, emphasizing the Leaf Village’s trees. Of course, muted blues were also there, reminiscent of water, naturally symbolic of peace. One would be “immersed” in nature while in the comfort of a fully furnished and heated space. 

The occupant of the room persuaded the owner of the inn to go with red accented by gold (and some orange) for the entrance, to uphold the loftiness and regality of the Land of Fire, tapering off into more calming tones the further one advanced into the building.

3) The person in the room. He was not very spectacular, pale with black hair, black eyes, his only defining characteristic being the crop top he wore sometimes, but it was not unique in the slightest. He was...average. If not for something being off about him, apparently. He knew what it was, the inn’s owner knew what it was and tried to “help” him with it, but he could not have the capability to care. He did not choose his clothes, he did not choose who he served, he did not choose his mission. But he did...choose his name. ‘Sai.’ He had not quite acclimated to referring to himself as Sai, but it was...like his paints and brushes. Something unwise to continue without. Sai sipped the herbal tea he had prepared at the table situated in the center of the room, waiting for the return of the inn’s owner, Uzumaki Naruto. He had been gone for extended periods of time without informing Sai prior to now, and he would in the future, he knew. That was fine. He had yet to exceed the implicit period of time before Sai reported it. He was nearing it, though. Sai began the countdown out loud; after all, Naruto seemed to rush in at the absolute last second, “5, 4, 3, 2 1--”

4) And, finally, the dog in the room. The open window had been intentional. It was Naruto’s preferred way of entrance. Except this was not Naruto. Or maybe it was…? Could Naruto have trapped himself...in a dog? Sai would not be surprised (not that he was surprised by anything, but the knucklehead seemed to throw something new at him at every turn and he was far past expecting the expected with him, anymore). However, the more Sai analyzed the dog’s appearance, the more it became clear it was indeed not Naruto. A ninja hound? And a pug at that? Yes, it was no mistake now, this was the famed ninja (and apparent “friend” of Naruto, even if it seemed like they were always bickering) Hatake Kakashi’s ninken, Pakkun.

“State your purpose,” Sai said, phlegmatic.

“No time,” said the pug, breathless, plopping a scroll unceremoniously on his lap, before leaping once more out the window.

This did not faze Sai, however, unrolling the scroll with an indecipherable expression adorning his face. He skimmed it, blinked, then re-read it, once, twice, and felt a small twitch in his left temple, wondering if this was the beginning of ‘irritation’ (but both ‘wondering’ and any relation to emotion was worth re-examination from Lord Danzō, but Lord Danzō had also ordered him to obey Naruto’s orders, of whom wanted him to pay no mind to his teachings--he must not think like that. His duty was to protect the Leaf’s Jinchūriki and the Leaf from the Jinchūriki, nothing more, nothing less; he should _stop thinking so much_ ) like how Naruto had tried to explain it to him.

How is it that Naruto constantly finds himself in situations like this?

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

Thrilled is not the word Ibiki would use to explain the “gift” that was the three ninja that arrived at his front door like a cat (or in this case a dog) with a dead mouse, and he reacted in kind.

One troubled sigh later and he was working his way through the familiar halls of the Torture and Interrogation Department to the soon-to-be- _very-_ unfortunate group of ninja.

Ibiki mentally ran over the report from the number one knuckleheaded ninja of the Leaf, categorizing the best way to extract information from each of the ninja. 

And how did Ibiki feel about said knucklehead ninja? Oh well, he’s (not) glad you asked. Personally, Ibiki felt the same way about him as he did most everyone: apathy. Or at least partially. It was part of the job. Being a ninja took its toll. Ibiki was one of the lucky. He had one of the most difficult jobs in the ninja force, seeing (and inflicting) traumas on the regular, and it was taxing--if the scars marring his body were any clue. He dealt with people often who searched relentlessly for the cure to the scar that was the life of a ninja.

He’d gotten away relatively scot-free, in that sense. He was an expert in the workings of the mind; it was why he, an orphan without a clan, was chosen to head T&I, not another Yamanaka. Other ninja had delved into despair at a very young age when confronted with the reality of what a ninja was. He was one of those people. However, Ibiki learned what he needed to do to stay sane; he needed a goal.

Fortunately for him, a strong urge for information came to him as a child. The need to always “be in the known” was what drove him, even after his little brother’s “death.” Such a need was what reinforced his motivation to search for Idate. Being the head of T&I didn’t allow very many missions outside the Leaf, but he had his personal contacts, obviously. Idate was alive, and that was enough for him.

That was beyond the point, though. Ibiki took solace in his search for knowledge. 

Uzumaki Naruto, though…While Ibiki took solace in apathy, Naruto took solace in everything but. He despised that word with a passion, refusing to live an unemotional life, even if it would be easier.

Years ago, when Naruto had arrived back at the village _seven months_ after his first “real” mission, Ibiki was put in charge of his “case.”

Everyone was tense, immensely so. After a month or so of no response from the newly-genin team, the Hokage sent a squadron of high-ranked chūnin to the Wave Country.

They interrogated everyone (from the remaining men that worked for Gato--the rest already returned to their respective villages--and any adult that even admitted to seeing the team) for any clue of the genin team (and more importantly the Jinchūriki) that seemed to just vanish into thin air, but it was to no avail. The only clue they were even there in the first place being the reports of the master builder the genin team was assigned to protect and his family.

Naruto and his team had arrived together, but only he had set off from Wave, apparently. The family assumed they went ahead without him.

So when the unofficially declared missing-nin Nine-Tails Jinchūriki returned over half a year later, people were understandably...concerned. 

Ibiki backed Naruto’s case of innocence (along with a handful of others) after having examined his story thoroughly and questioning him just as meticulously. It was hard to not care for the boy after that; he reminded Ibiki of Idate. 

He wasn’t fond of people, despite his keen understanding of the human mind, so rarely did he ever favor a person, but Naruto was an enigma, certainly. That’s perhaps why he liked the kid. 

As the days grew on, Ibiki saw the similarities between Naruto’s case and the case of Idate (if he would have returned) increased. He understood the barely suppressed fear of the boy and knew he wasn’t guilty. He hadn’t hurt anyone. 

He recognized it in Idate, too. How it felt like the world was against him. Idate got the short end of the stick in genin teams. It saddened him; Idate was so...so excited for those bonds--considering everyone _always_ said genin teams were “teams for life”--especially in regards to how hard he tried and failed to befriend anyone. 

Naruto said he loved his team, though, but he could see the coldness of forced isolation in his bright blue eyes. 

Even so, the case was settled in the same fashion as Ibiki suspected Idate’s would. 

(And at the time, Ibiki had _a lot_ to say about that, but that derived from mostly from his urge to know everything being hindered, among other things. Many other things.)

He was not banished, not in the slightest. One does not simply “banish” one of the most powerful weapons in the world. No, there would be only one place where an untrustworthy person with that much chakra could stay:

Hōzuki Castle. 

But now he was back, and Ibiki felt...relieved and guilty.

But that’s fine. That was in the past. Naruto came back, Ibiki felt relieved and guilty, and Naruto was still held with suspicion, but it gave Ibiki hope that if the “disgraced” child of the Leaf could come home after his “betrayal,” Idate could. It just made him angry that some of the ninja were so callous and close-minded in the first place. (He was just a child and even the council member that was extremely close to Naruto looked shut off. They were the adults, they were the ones who were meant to teach kids to be better, not throw them away at a mistake. That was just cruel.)

Looking back, that must be what Naruto hates. The lack of understanding between people. The lack of empathy. It could just be a childhood rebellion against the system, but… 

That was it, though, wasn’t it? The enigma of Naruto that even Ibiki himself couldn’t crack? Ibiki wasn’t lying when he said he took solace in apathy, but recalling the events of his encounters with Naruto was everything but that. 

Maybe it was how his personality, words and...just everything revealed the hypocrisies in a person. If Ibiki stayed apathetic about Naruto, he would be perpetuating the exact injustice onto Naruto as was done unto himself; never giving him a chance because of factors he couldn’t control. And if he didn’t fight for Naruto, then he would be essentially giving up on Idate. Ibiki didn’t like thinking about the incident with Naruto because it crumpled his rock-solid mentality. 

(In hindsight, meeting Dosu was the straw that broke the camel’s back on that one.)

Glancing through the one-way glass in front of Ibiki, a young boy, _Zaku_ , sat, arms folded. 

Upon preliminary examinations, Ibiki immediately decoded how to get the ninja to break. 

The boy, Zaku, was obviously riddled with abandonment issues and a lack of parent figures, specifically a mother figure, based partly on the way he held himself--defensive, using aggression to hide hurt--and partly on Ibiki being in his profession long enough to tell. Ibiki figured Zaku must have followed Orochimaru in an attempt to fill that hole only a parent could fill, never questioning his ambiguous morals in favor of trying to please the only person who was ever there.

But based on the current situation, it seemed like this person he cared for so deeply was the precise reason he was in this current predicament. There was no other explanation; Orochimaru had sacrificed this group of children with so much potential in order to send a message.

The world had failed this boy, hadn’t it?

So even if Zaku seemed like the most reliable for information gathering (in regards to his already feeble mental state and him previously revealing intel), Ibiki’s earlier statements still stood; Zaku was a “ask questions never” kind of person, disregarding his likely natural intelligence and curiosity for the person he admired. Yes, Zaku would have information, but the devil is in the details.

Nodding in approval as Mitarashi Anko stepped into the interrogation room, Ibiki walked to observe the next room. Zaku waited for a long while, anxieties building until a motherly figure (yes, Anko was very adept at acting) entered to console him. This girl, however, Kin, didn’t have to wait for long. The idea was the basic “bad-cop, good-cop” routine, similar to how Zaku was treated, except with one surly ninja walking in beforehand, killing intent blazing, shaking the girl up. After, another female from the Yamanaka clan had walked in and confronted her who was currently talking with her.

Kin was similar to Zaku, but he could tell she was the one to abandon, not be abandoned. She was loyal to a fault and a good listener. Ibiki figured she would offer much more than Zaku, based on that alone. 

She seemed wary around men, likely searching for acceptance in the form of Orochimaru. Unlike the neglect Zaku faced, she seemed to have been abused in some way--possibly by her father, leading to her running.

Ibiki wondered where she had grown up. Why Orochimaru had been the only one to help her.

And finally, Ibiki reached the window of one Dosu, the team’s apparent leader. Right off the bat, Ibiki could tell he was smart--like his teammates--a leader, keen, untrusting and completely self-proficient. He was unlike the other two in that Ibiki tell could he did not hold the absolutism Zaku and Kin had for Orochimaru. He was cynical. He understood how the world worked and used that to his advantage.

The same methods that worked on Zaku and Kin would not work on him.

He could tell that Dosu would talk if he had someone who leveled with him, who shared the same understanding of the world, if the interrogation was treated like a compromise. He’d talk if he got something out of it.

Therefore, Ibiki would be leading the interrogation on him.

Ibiki swung open the door to the interrogation room, and instead of the customary snap of the head upward, Dosu just smirked. Yes, he was very shrewd indeed. 

Dosu was lazily drumming his fingers on the table where his hands were chained. Ibiki hadn’t bothered to take extra precaution for inhibiting hand signs, as Naruto had already sealed their chakra. Before Ibiki could even sit down, however, Dosu said cheekily, “I was wondering when someone would show up.”

Ibiki didn’t dignify this with a response, but made sure to loosen his movements to be more open, less stiff and formal, key to establishing subconscious trust with people like Dosu. Placing files haphazardly across his side of the table in a grand sweeping motion, he slid into the chair across from Dosu.

“I see Orochimaru has betrayed us…” Dosu continued, unfazed. Largely, he seemed unaffected by Orochimaru’s duplicity, unlike Zaku and Kin, who were visibly shaken when they came to the realization.

“It seems so.”

“And you’re assuming I’d be so _hurt_ by the oh-so-great Lord Orochimaru practically handing me over to the enemy that I’ll just break down and tell you everything?” Dosu said, giving puppy dog eyes to emphasize his words.

Side-eying him, Ibiki responded, “No. You know as well as I do what’s going on here, and I’d be willing to give you something in return for intel.” Ibiki greatly disliked bargaining, as it revealed the importance of the information to the other (to which they always used to their utmost advantage), and one could never be sure if they were revealing the whole truth. It let the criminal have all the cards. That, however, could be used to his advantage.

Dosu looked intrigued, “Oh? And what would that be?”  
  
“Immunity.” He’d get to offering sanctuary later. He couldn’t use all his cards now.  
  


Dosu’s single eyebrow not obscured by the mount of bandages covering his face raised, “Really? The Leaf Village offering immunity? I can’t say I’ve heard that one before.”  
  


It’s true, they don’t need to, what with the Yamanakas and all, but Dosu was still a young teenager, and he didn’t deserve that; after all, his only proven crime was being an unknown within the Leaf’s territory, and since when was that illegal? They might not even be working with Orochimaru; Ibiki had the report, but he wasn’t going to make a solid conclusion without all the facts. Despite what one would expect, the Torture & Interrogation was probably the most humane department in the Hidden Leaf.

Dosu seemed to be aware of this, too, “But hey, mind telling me what I need immunity for?”  
  


Ibiki wasn’t one to get trapped in a corner, “You’re teammates revealed you’re affiliation with Orochimaru. We know your plans to recruit Uchiha Sasuke and kill the bridge builder. You yourself admitted to working with a S-class missing-nin of the Hidden Leaf.”  
  


Dosu’s gaze sharpened at ‘recruit’ and Ibiki jotted it down mentally, Zaku didn’t appear to be aware of the expected plans of Orochimaru, and it was highly possible Dosu didn't either, only now realizing that the mission wasn’t just a plot to give them over to the Leaf, but had other motivations he wasn’t aware of. 

Nevertheless, he retorted, “Oh really? Can you actually _prove_ that though? What do you have besides unreliable witness accounts? Even though I just said ‘Lord Orochimaru,’ I was obviously sarcastic. Are you going to use _that_ to incriminate me? The report of someone who happened to hear something mid-fight full of explosions and loud noises? What if I told you we didn’t say Orochimaru? It was some name we picked up? That we’re runaways who picked that up just ‘cause. What will you do then? You have nothing.”

“You’re riding on that a lot. You expect the Hokage to take the word of some kid over the head of the Torture and Interrogation or a chūnin? You think we wouldn’t notice you were targeting someone with a curse mark? Your bed is nails, and you could either reap what you sow and sleep in it or let me make a new one for you.”  
  
Dosu eyed him suspiciously, but Ibiki continued, “You expect _the Leaf Village_ to go easy on you? You’re smart, right, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth; we have your other teammates if not you. Now, I’m only offering you this once. Immunity, or whatever the Council finds fit to do with you.”  
  
Dosu didn’t respond, and Ibiki figured it was time enough to gather his files and, standing, he turned to leave.

It was only when he had the door handle completely turned did he hear the frustrated “Wait.” from behind him.

Hook, line, sinker.  
  


Dosu had potential, but as of now, he was still a kid.

**  
  
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**  
  
  
  
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Anko didn’t like this kid. Not at all. He reminded her too much (way too much) of herself. Vulnerable and alone, abandoned by the only person she thought she could trust, barely keeping it together.

Slowly she opened the door, allowing the boy to register her presence at his pace. 

She peeked her head through, before taking a step into the room and saying warmly, “Hello there. Zaku, is it?”  
  
The boy just huffed and turned away.

Anko sighed and plopped into her chair.

At this, the boy eyed her warily, eventually turning back towards her, trying to mask his discomfort, “What do you want?”  
  
“Would it be such a stretch to say I just want to talk?”  
  
“Well no shit,” he snapped.

“Oh yeah,” she laughed, rubbing her neck. “Well then I’m sure you can tell what I’m here to talk about.”

“Of course I do.”  
  
“But you’re gonna make me claw it out of you?”  
  
His huff was reply enough.

There was a beat of silence. 

“Why would you stick up for someone like Orchimaru? You seem like a good kid, why-why _him_?”

Before he’s talking about Orochimaru, Anko figured, he’s gotta talk about himself. 

He scoffed, “What would you know.”

_Too much._

She had been like him once, too. Desperately clutching onto _him_ because he... _cared._ In some sick, twisted way that ultimately led to just scientific interest, he cared, somehow. 

But he left. 

The question raced through her head incessantly: _why her?_ Why did she survive? Why did Orochimaru mentor her in the first place? Why why _why_ \--

Why did he leave her behind?

Like Ibiki, Anko had a motivation: power. She wasn’t corrupt, but realistic. She couldn’t quite explain the exhilaration of combat, of discovering a new jutsu, of perfecting an old one. Yes, some may call her a sadist, but it was the only plausible explanation for Anko as to why Orochimaru had taken a liking to her in the first place.

It was likely why she was interested in Zaku (although not openly) now; it was the fire. Orochimaru’s, starting most certainly with one of the strongest will of fires, was corrupted into something desperate to protect itself. Anko’s fire was that in reverse, and this kid...he had a fire, but no direction. 

If Anko could force her fire into something better, could she teach someone else how to?

Anko had to…she had to look in the eyes of the _kids’_ parents that Orochimaru slaughtered while she was alone and left alive.

She remembers vividly how Orochimaru had rejected _her_ . Something about that memory always screamed _wrong_ to her; she was so brainwashed then. She still couldn’t understand how _she wasn’t enough._ She had got a summoning contract with the _snake_ , something that only one searching for power is granted to. So why—

She shouldn’t think about that. She was just so _so_ thankful that he didn’t take her. She was lonely, but she was...herself. She belonged to herself, not some snake. 

Still, she had to face the folly of Orochimaru. Even though the Hokage told her his actions weren’t her fault, she can’t _not do anything._

The families of the other children Orochimaru killed weighed heavily on her. She would force him to repent. She would fix his mistakes. 

Could she…? Could this be her starting point? With...a kid she’s never met before?

She could try. At least. She wasn’t the best with people. Abandonment does that to a person. She’s always imagined herself dying with Orochimaru when she gets her hands on him, but…

(Could there be more? Would that...would living clear her name...clear her _conscious_ more than dying ever could? She’d never considered it a possibility, but she knew she was the only one who could. The only one who could get through to kids like these.)

She would try.

“Why did you join Orochimaru in the first place?”  
  
He leered at her, “What’s it to you?”

Try being the key word.

Anko was a good actress. It had been a while since she had acted as a “friendly” figure to the interrogatee and even longer since there was a kid in T&I, but she wasn’t one of the few specialized jōnin in the force for nothing. She had never considered joining the Torture and Interrogation Department as a child, but she wanted people to be able to trust her. 

God, she needed to stop thinking. It was making her depressed.

Anyway, she was an expert at this kind of thing, but Zaku was putting her on edge. He reminded her of her younger self, and her instincts responded in kind:  
  
With the unbridled urge to slap him in the face.

“Zaku, I don’t think you understand how dire your situation is. We’ve tried to go easy on you because you’re a kid. But if you don’t cooperate...Right now, maybe not just you, but what you stand for is a tremendous security and safety threat. As much as I hate to say it, I can’t keep the higher ups from you very long. As far as we’re concerned, you being here is a declaration of war against a village we’ve never heard of.” She tapped the headband on his forehead, “This? It’s no joke. Now, we still have some time, hopefully, so just start at the beginning. How did you meet Orochimaru?”  
  


His brows knit together for a moment before he sighed, “If I don’t...what’ll--what’ll happen to me?”

Anko gave a concerned frown, “Orochimaru is one of the most prominent threats to the Leaf. I don’t know where you come from, but the Leaf doesn’t take kindly to enemies of the village…”

“How long?”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“How long do I have until it’s...too late for me.”

“I’d say three days, give or take. It depends on how much you talk; but, Zaku, I don’t know how many other ways to say this: we _need_ you to talk. We can’t take the risk. You should know as well as I that Orochimaru is a force to be reckoned with.” Just saying his name felt like cyanide on her tongue, but she was never one to mince words. She wouldn’t here, either.

“Well then what am I getting out of this? If I manage to escape, you’ll be chasing after me. I can’t tell you anything without both you _and_ Orochimaru being on my back, and I can’t _not_ say anything without heading straight to certain doom. So I’ll ask again: what’s the point?”  
  
Anko matched Zaku’s firm gaze, “We’re offering you immunity...and sanctuary. Here, in the Hidden Leaf.” She weighed extending the offer of escorting him out of the village, but that would only take him so far before Orochimaru would get him.

He laughed, “And why in the hell would I want that? This village is gonna crash and burn soon, you’ll see. I might not be there to see Orochimaru’s dreams come to fruition, but he’ll make you pay for this, if nothing else.”

This took Anko back, but Zaku continued, “He’ll torch this whole place to the ground, and he-he’ll save me, yeah, I can survive until then. He must've known that—that’s why I’m here. To tell you that your village is _screwed._ You’re all such pretentious bastards, Lord Orochimaru was the only one there, the only one who ever saw potential in an orphan, in a ‘filthy street rat,’ so take you and your stick up your ass _and leave_. How’s that for talking?”

Anko looked at him, shocked, for one moment, noting how he reverted back to using ‘Lord,’ before responding quietly, “And you’re okay with that? I’m an orphan, too, and if you...you think it’s _okay_ to put others through the pain you went through? You think that-that…you _have the right_ to destroy some innocent person’s home...their _life_ without _any cause_ except ‘Lord Orochimaru’ _told_ you so? You think he’ll keep his promise?” Anko was angry now, “He _abandoned you._ He could have saved you earlier, not let you go on that mission, but _he didn’t. He never cared_ . Kid, what did he do to you? Are you so blind as to see all that he’s been telling you are _lies_ ? Did you _ever_ question anything he said _at all?”_

“ _He promised me—”_

_“His promise means shit. He’s a monster who’s trying to ruin families just like yours, who has in the past murdered children and will continue to do so, he’ll kill more and more and brainwash more and more, all for power_ . Don’t listen to him. I know you have the ability to do so. Deep down, _you know_ he’s wrong.”

Anko was fuming, barely able to contain her rage; _she_ was the pretentious one? “How long?” she seethed.

“I-I don’t know.” He sounded affected. Anko wouldn’t take the time to check. 

Not sparing a glance in Zaku’s direction, Anko exhaled sharply and left the boy to his thoughts.

**  
  
  
  
  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, Team Dosu was going to be a minor villain, an insignificant plot device. Now? haha. What if...Anko/Ibiki adopted Team Dosu? haha jk...unless? Also smoll Sai is so hard but so fun to write he's ahghhhh I love him.
> 
> Also also, kinda dropped a bomb on Naruto's backstory ahhh. Now that's...great writing ;)
> 
> Also also also, again, not trying to bash Orochimaru, but Anko really does have reason to hate him, sorry if he's your favorite


	5. There’s a Snake in your Boot, Lord Hokage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We all could use an Ibiki in our lives; Dosu can attest to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I'm using Konoha and the village hidden in the leaves interchangeably because it's easier to spell. I know I'm criminal. I also expected this to be a pretty linear narrative but with all these povs I guess not woop. Imagine this 7.3k being a short chapter ahaha (it was meant to be 2k, I rewrote this four times help)
> 
> Me: *planned to finished arc by chapter 8*
> 
> Also me: *on chapter 5* sweats
> 
> BTW: Trigger WARNING (Dosu suffers a near-panic attack and talks about his trauma. There is fire. Thus burning. Thus people dying. Tread with caution and don't read what you can't handle. Stay safe buddy. The Dosu & Ibiki parts are the only parts with this except a sentence or two with Hiruzen and Shikaku; it's in parentheses so it should be easy to see, summary at the end). I rated it M and w/ graphic depictions of violence on purpose

It was barely noon when Kakashi’s trusted ninja hound Pakkun arrived. He was panting, sweating (through his paws, of course) and repeating how he was ‘ _ too old for this _ ’ despite being a summon of which aged slower than one of Hiruzen’s Council meetings.

He stroked a comforting hand down the dog’s luxurious fur, indulging him as he read the failings of Kakashi off like it was a list in front of him. Hiruzen chuckled like the old man / grandfather he was, procuring a jar of dog treats from within his mighty cloak and a bowl to pour the water into that appeared in a similar fashion.

The dog practically fainted from relief. Graciously inhaling the treats while the Third Hokage literally once removed’s eyes lazily skimmed over the scroll that had been so graciously handed to him. 

“They're in trouble,” Hiruzen stated, concern marring his wrinkled brow. They were going to continue the mission, apparently, as the Land of Waves “can’t afford them not.”

“Well what’d you expect? It’s Kakashi’s team.”

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

It was well past noon, and like most things, reporting to the Hokage was fine. The Sarutobi was a kind old man, and Naruto liked him. Sai just found that he liked to dawdle. Sai was ‘blunt,’ according to Naruto, and when he told him this an evil gleam entered his eyes. 

In the following week after that exchange, Naruto made it his personal mission to make Sai’s reports as...frequent as possible. 

He’d stopped when he clawed out the response ‘ _ I’d prefer it if you weren’t so recalcitrant,’  _ from Sai after he’d promptly shot down replacing  _ ‘I’d prefer’  _ with  _ ‘the mission would benefit _ . _ ’  _ Sai wasn’t an idiot, despite his ineptness in social settings, so he understood Naruto was trying to get him to…have his own opinions?

It was just confusing.

It never used to be this hard to think. He would always observe, state his observations and that would be it. Now, there were a bunch of unspoken “rules” that no one would explain to him that he didn’t understand, and  _ more  _ thinking. Mental connections.  _ Sai _ had to come to the conclusion.

It didn’t help Lord Third encouraged it.

So Sai could admit that debriefing the Hokage was a rather long and arduous journey he’d rather avoid, full of intermittent stories from the Lord’s past that Sai would always indulge him in (as he could not simply reject them), the lethargic drawl of the Third’s voice and the steady stream of smoke trailing out of the Third’s signature pipe.

In Naruto’s words: Sai didn’t like it.

(Except Shikaku. He was fine.)

Sai didn’t have the time to walk leisurely to the Hokage Tower, despite the short distance. Yes, he had to forgo watching the people and birds and trees and mountains for blurred peripherals and tunnel vision on the Hokage.

And unlike Naruto, Sai had to enter the normal way: through the entrance. Although being assigned to watch Naruto resulted in the waiting period to speak with the Hokage to practically disappear, the amount of bizarreness the chaotic boy displayed on the regular was made the advantage also practically disappear. 

The secretary liked him, though. She liked to pinch his cheeks which Naruto would always snort under his breath about when Sai would explain his confusion with it, dismissing him with ‘ _ it’s an old people thing,’ _ but the last time he checked, Sai was not an old person. No one knew his real birthday; he was a nameless, insignificant orphan just like all the others. At least, that was what he had been told. 

Naruto had decided that was no good, though, and he brought out a calendar for him to pick from,  _ ‘Pick a date. This’ll be your birthday from now on, ‘kay?’ _

_ Sai looked at the calendar with confusion, ‘Why do I need one?’ _

_ Naruto looked dumbfounded, ‘Uh, well, how else are you going to tell how old you are? Or when you get a free Ichiraku coupon, or-or I don’t know. You need one. That’s all.’ _

_ Sai never quite cared how old he was, half expecting him never to get old enough to care, but Naruto said he needed one, so… _

_ ‘What’s your birthday?’ Sai asked instead. _

_ ‘Me? Uh, it’s October 10 _ _ th _ _ , why?’ _

_ ‘I’ll take that then, October 10 _ _ th _ _.’ _

_ Naruto’s eyes blew wide, ‘Ehhh?! No way, you can’t steal my birthday!’ _

_ Sai tilted his head, inquisitive, ‘Why not? Then you’ll get two free ramen coupons on your birthday, right?’ _

_ Naruto looked ponderous for a moment, ‘I guess...hey! You’re right, we’ll be Birthday Buddies!’ _

So Sai was maybe twelve (give or take a few years) with an intelligence that far surpassed his years, the emotional maturity of a walnut and a shared birthday  with his best friend with Uzumaki Naruto.

That was...nice.

The pinching of cheeks, however, was not.

The ‘Old Lady Secretary’ (according to Naruto) began her customary greeting that consisted of too-tight hugs, pinched cheeks and a bunch of ‘doting’ phrases that constantly confounded the boy. What had led her to seemingly adopt Sai out of nowhere was beyond him, but she had  _ somehow  _ caught wind of Sai’s inclination for momen tofu (Naruto) and made it for him along with other things, so he didn’t mind.

Her mood quickly soured when he explained his reason for being there, raising his scroll as confirmation.

Her gaze hardened, “Another one?” she muttered under her breath. “Well, Sai, you can go right up to Lord Hokage’s office, he’ll just love to see what you’ve got there, all right?”

Sai nodded and carried himself through the halls and up the stairs of the Hokage Tower, already well accustomed to its layout, if not completely used to not being led anywhere in it.

Moments later, his form disappeared behind the door to the Hokage Office.

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
  
**

Pakkun didn’t know much about what was going on, but was endlessly exasperated for having to make the same trip  _ twice.  _ Soon enough, though, he waved off any further treats, hopping out the almost perpetually open window with “I’ve got more scrolls to deliver.”

Hiruzen nodded and waved pleasantly.

A few minutes later Shikaku lazily dragged his feet through the sliding door of the Hokage Office, grumbling about the world itself being ‘ _ too early for this _ ’ to which Hiruzen pulled out the obligatory cookie jar from the same endless pit that was his Hokage cloak and handed him one. 

Shikaku was early, by all standards, surprisingly. Like most people, Shikaku had a designated time to be at work, but very early on in their partnership, Shikaku firmly (although implicitly) established being on time was never a thing he would strive for. 

Quite the opposite, really. 

So often there came a schedule of him arriving, oh, three maybe four hours “late,” and, with this being his new “on time,” he generally proved himself to be quite punctual. Except when he had to “shake things up,” sometimes arriving maybe 2 hours late instead of four to just one minute until Hiruzen was about to leave, or, maybe, if he was lucky, he’d arrive ‘early.’ 

He couldn’t let the old man rely on schedules, no no. That would make him complacent. A hokage couldn’t be  _ complacent. ‘I’m just keeping you on your toes, Lord Hokage.’ _

Hiruzen wouldn’t trade the Nara for anyone, though. He was…well a Nara. And there wasn’t much more to say about that. His father had worked in T&I and his father before that was an Anbu so Hiruzen had not yet had the pleasure of working closely with one.

When inquired why Shikaku chose this path instead of following his fathers’ footsteps, though, he’d shrug and say ‘I thought it was the easiest path.’

And in many ways, it was. He basically got paid just for showing up sometimes, joined the Council (thus boosting his clan’s reputation—and his own, for being such a powerful clan head at so young), secured his son’s future for having the Hokage’s approval and overall set himself up for success. 

The Naras had never been very forthcoming. It wasn’t a bad thing, they just never had the motivation or drive to be. They were as much deers as the Yamanakas were boars and the Akimichi were butterflies. 

Until the Nine-Tails attack. Shikaku had lost his own father, and the Nara district was devastated. With the intense horror of the event, it often never occurs to one that it only lasted mere minutes. 

Many of the casualties were from falling buildings and smoke inhalation.

(Hiruzen remembers, vividly, the charred remains of a newborn, never to utter a word, never to walk, never to dream. He couldn’t even tell if it was a girl or a boy.)

So the Leaf didn’t have too high of buildings anymore. 

Still, the Nara District had been one of the first areas to be crushed by the fox. So many houses, people and all the memories and mementos they held were irrevocably destroyed.

A little over a decade was not enough time to heal those wounds, was not enough time to heal the village’s wounds. 

Yes, Hiruzen would admit he had neglected his social duties to his family and successor’s son in response to that. 

However, if he hadn’t, the Village Hidden in the Leaves would surely be no more. 

There was simply not enough money to start reconstruction, enough food to feed the hungry, enough housing to house the cold for the oncoming winter. Then there was also the power imbalance, the practical economic collapse, the threat of invasion and the mound of bodies left to be buried. 

A child like Naruto wouldn’t– _ couldn’t  _ understand that. Not when he was the only one people could “blame” for it. But Hiruzen got through it, and the village was more or less stable. There were still plots of land that were once neighborhoods filled with grass, flowers and the remnants of the past. 

They had decided to leave those. In memorial. Now, kids occupied them, the framework of crushed and burnt buildings being playgrounds, leftover toys, nick nacks or utensils becoming makeshift inventions of little ones. Inochi Yamanaka had even made a flower shop to nurture and sell those flowers from the valleys. 

That was beyond the point, though, with the Nara clan decimated, Shikaku took the role as Head of the Nara Clan and made a few changes. He was still lazy, but had a drive to rebuild. And money didn’t grow on trees, unfortunately. 

Somehow both of them had survived, no,  _ are alive  _ despite everything, and Hiruzen couldn’t have asked for a better advisor. 

And he liked to think Shikaku found Hiruzen amusing, too. 

If not for the paperwork. 

Hiruzen had no problem with weapons, none at all. But  _ penmanship?  _ His handwriting was  _ worse  _ than chicken scratch. He used to be better, but growing old meant shakier hands, apparently, and it was a facet he’d learn to accept. 

Things change. People adapt. 

Shikaku snatched one, two cookies and hobbled over to the couch to the side of Hiruzen, flopping down pathetically and drifting off to ‘sleep.’

“I think I’m going to ruin your day, Shikaku.” 

Said man eyed him warily then gestured to the couch, referencing the sleep he was losing, “More than you have already?”

Hiruzen snorted and tossed the other the scroll to which he caught lamely.

As Shikaku’s eyes skimmed over it, his face seemed to quickly gain more and more attention (and thus aggravation), “This is a joke, right?”

“I’m afraid not. It does have the official seal of Konoha.”

Shikaku sighed loudly and threw it aggressively on the newly-polished wood floor, becoming like a rag doll as he flopped back onto his back’ “Dammit, does it  _ have  _ to be the Uchiha?”

“The world’s out to get him, it seems like.”

Shikaku eyed him, “Not exactly what I was going for but yeah, sure.”

They sat for a moment in silence, then “There’s more to it, isn’t there?”

“Oh, most definitely.”

“Did the Demon Brothers give any leads?”

“Unfortunately, no. We couldn’t hold them for long though. Not without causing an uproar from the Hidden Mist.”

“That’s just our luck. Where’s the but?”   
  
“But Ibiki’s in the process of interrogating a handful of ninja who are affiliated with Orochimaru.”

Shikaku stood, “Not the but I was expecting but welcome nonetheless.”

“Where’re you off to?”

  
  
“Lunch,” he sighed, despite the fact that he only just arrived, “Want anything?”

  
  
“If it isn’t too much of a bother.”   


  
“So the usual? Got it, Lord Hokage.”

As the exasperated advisor left, Hiruzen could swear he heard him mumbling curses before his voice vanished behind the door.

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

Dosu looked down, mouth set in a heavy frown. He didn’t know where to begin. There was so much to say, so much he shouldn’t say, so much he could say and so much…

He just didn’t know. 

It was...harder, a lot harder than he’d expected, to deal with Orochimaru betraying him. He’d played it off, obviously, to avoid showing weakness, but he was seriously screwed now. 

He thought...Dosu thought...he  _ must have  _ been worth more than that, hadn’t he? He did everything Orochimaru asked. He was  _ strong _ . He was  _ perfect _ . After all this time and he was just--

Just a pawn?

What had he done wrong?

Dosu had never thought...had never  _ been  _ useless with Orochimaru.

Or so he thought.

He thought. He thought.  _ He thought-- _

“Dosu?” It wasn’t so much a question as a command.

Instinctively, Dosu’s scars lit up in barely veiled agony. They were mostly healed by now, but that did little to deter the phantom flames crawling up his body. Sometimes it felt like they were still there, the flames, that he could still see them, and all he could do was watch as they rained hell upon his skin, searing his flesh off in disgusting bubbles, leaving charred white and black scars all over his figure.

The wrist had always hurt the most.

Fire still stunned him. It was partly why in the ambush, immediately after Kin had thrown the explosive notes, Dosu had not done anything. He had quick reflexes and perhaps the strongest jutsu of his team, but all that was for naught around fire.

“Yes?” he asked, gritting his teeth. Sweat began to pour from his skin in buckets. Dosu knew it was all in his head, that the temperature was the  _ same _ , that his brain was deceiving him. Of course that wouldn’t help, though. Imaginary flames licked the edges of his vision and he  _ really  _ wished he could soothe the striking pain all along his right side, from his hand to his back to his  _ face  _ (and his eye, oh god his  _ eye _ ), all throbbing and pulsating like the incessant screams from his grandmother piercing his skull. He needed to  _ breathe. _ “Wh-what do you--j-just. J-just  _ ask _ .”

The man eyed him warily, “Do you need some water?”

“ _ Yes _ .” he all but gasped.

The man nodded in understanding and  _ actually left _ . 

Dosu was overjoyed for the brief reprieve, ripping the bandages off his mouth, taking in lungfuls of air as if he’s been drowning. He needed time to compose himself, needed to convince himself that he wasn’t necessarily  _ safe _ , but  _ alive _ . 

Dosu only ever had these episodes when he was Stressed. Getting captured? That’s one thing. That’s a variable he has to factor in for every mission? Being betrayed?  _ That’s never part of the plan.  _

He needed to get a grip, though.  _ He doesn’t deserve you.  _ He repeated to himself.  _ He doesn’t deserve you. He doesn’t. _

Even if deep down he couldn’t believe it, right now he needed to.

_ It’s not your fault. _

The door swung opened minutes later, and the man with plenty of scars decorating his face swept in with a cup of water in each hand. Dosu briefly wondered if it was intentional; after all, surely it couldn’t have taken him the precise time Dosu needed to cool off to get two measly cups of water.

The man placed both of them in front of Dosu, and they were met with a new dilemma.

Dosu wasn’t a fan of letting others see his scars, hence the bandages, but there was an air of companionship and understanding between the two, both heavily scarred, that eased him a bit. 

So no, that wasn’t the problem.

It was that Dosu couldn’t drink the water. Don’t get him wrong, he really wanted the water, but pulling off the bandages had been easy enough as all he had to do was sink his head, grab and pull. He didn’t have the range of motion to grab the cup, lift it to his mouth and tilt his head backwards to drink it.

It just wasn’t possible.

The man saw this and sighed.

Performing a single-handed seal, the man uttered, “Release.”

And  _ uncuffed  _ him.

Dosu recoiled in shock, was he  _ that  _ confident?

“Oh calm down, it’s only temporary. But I know it must have been a while since you’ve had anything to eat or drink.”

Then he placed a plate of dango in front of him. 

“A friend of mine had some extras,” was all he offered for an explanation.

Dosu was...uh  _ shocked _ . Wasn’t he  _ just  _ threatening him that the Leaf didn’t treat enemies nicely? 

This must’ve been some sort of trick. Was there some kind of drug in them? Honestly though, Dosu was so hungry he couldn’t care less.

He scarfed them all down in one fell swoop.

“Now,” the man began, satisfied with Dosu’s finishing of the make-shift meal, suspiciously having yet to re-handcuff him, “Start from the beginning.”

He could apparently see Dosu’s confusion and added, “There’s no point in cuffing you. When I leave, someone will come to transfer you to a proper holding cell for the night.”

Dosu nodded, dumbfounded, massaging his sore wrists, specifically his right one, “I, uh, I don’t know where to start.”

“How about with that headband of yours.”

Dosu raised his head slightly, briefly making eye contact with his interrogator before breathing deeply, composing himself, “It’s for the Village Hidden in the Sound.”

“And I’m assuming it’s allied itself with Orochimaru?”

“To the contrary, Orochimaru founded it.”

“Founded it?”

“Yes. You’ve never heard of it because it’s not a set place. Orochimaru has maybe six or seven similar outposts spread throughout the countries.” Dosu tried to remember the hearsay, the boys and girls saying where they were from, which base they were going to.

“So not just in the Fire Country?”

“Correct. I couldn’t tell you where they all are, or if they’re even still in function after this. In all the time I’ve followed Orochimaru, never was any exact location given besides directions like the Southern or Northern Hideouts.”

“So you can’t recall any? No locations, nothing?”

Dosu knew of only two. Zaku, Kin and he were all stationed at the Village Hidden in the Grass hideout. It was temporary, really, until they could move on the Leaf. But that obviously wasn’t happening, for them at least. 

The other one, however…it was much bigger than the first. Dosu had only been there once while in recovery and training, but he could already tell it was  _ the  _ hideout.

“Could you point them out on a map?” The man asked, reaching into his file folder for an old and tapered map of the five nations. 

He nodded. As he pointed, describing the nearby lands and distinctive land formations, the man expertly copied down his words verbatim on a small note pad. Dosu was impressed.

He made a small dot on the map with his pen where Dosu had pointed, asking “The Land of Rice Paddies?”

“Officially? Yes. Unofficially? It’s known as the Land of Sound. It’s pretty official to everyone living in it, though. The Hidden Sound has the daimayō sponsoring it, and it gets missions—you could probably find legitimate records somewhere. It’s more like hiding in plain sight. The Land of Rice Paddies is small and not powerful, so no one sees the village as a threat. Orochimaru owns it everywhere but on paper.”

Dosu wasn’t familiar with the individual  _ locations  _ of each of Orochimaru’s main bases, but the Land of Sound was never  _ not  _ a topic of discussion among other recruits. Dosu himself was born there. 

He never thought of it as anything special, but to everyone in the Hidden Grass base, he was  _ holy.  _ Orochimaru had loyal subjects, surely, and it was seen as an honor, the highest form of acknowledgement and respect from Orochimaru to be stationed in the “official” village even if it was just a maze of underground tunnels. For Dosu to have been  _ raised _ in the Land of Sound then  _ trained _ in the Village Hidden in the Sound was nothing to scoff at.

He was loved there. Even if it was fake, even if it was just admiration of qualities that weren’t him, that he couldn’t control…

He felt important. 

And now he was a traitor to the only cause he had ever cared for. 

Hero to zero, just like that. 

“I thought you said it’s not a set place?”

“Not technically, no. The Village Hidden in the Sound might be what’s considered the ‘home base,’ but it’s really just an underground labyrinth. Any other hideout will still have people with the same headband as I do. Basically, the head of the snake is there.”

The man nodded, either not picking up on the pun or not caring, “And who would know where all these other locations are?”

Dosu racked his brain at that one. Who  _ would _ know? There was that one, oh no, not him. Maybe…?

Wait—

Dosu could count on his hand how many times he’s seen him, but he had always put him on edge. He had an eye, a look that made Dosu think he saw right through him.

“I don’t know his name, but Orochimaru’s always seen with a white-haired kid with glasses. Pale. A little taller and older than me. Black eyes. Pretty normal if not for the hair. He doesn’t really talk to anyone, so no one really knows who he is, but I’ve heard rumors that he’s a spy. If you can find him, you’ll find Orochimaru.”

Another moment of furious writing later and “What’s the purpose of all these hideouts? What’s he trying to accomplish?”

Dosu chuckled, “Besides hiding? He’s…Well Orochimaru has never been ‘normal’ in any sense of the word. He has this obsession with power but not for his own gain. I don’t understand it completely, but he is determined, intelligent and surprisingly charismatic despite his outward appearance, so he…”   
  


“Experiments.” The man finished.

The truth was most of Orochimaru’s followers knew nothing about his  _ particular  _ hobbies, and Dosu had not meant to learn of it either. Was that why he was backstabbed? He had a feeling he would never get an answer.

Truth be told, Dosu’s faith in Orochimaru began to waver after finding out about it. Orochimaru had always been a teacher, someone who found no enjoyment in discovering if he had no one to pass that onto. Dosu admired that quality in him. He didn’t care about power in the sense it would make him stronger or undefeatable. He wanted it because he needed to know that he could. 

It made him squeamish. To think that had almost been him. That the power he now wielded was from the pain of another.

“Most of us don’t know about it.” 

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
**

It was maybe ten minutes later when Sai, not Shikaku, walked through the door.

In the meanwhile, Hiruzen had taken it upon himself to send a messenger to one Toad Sage Spymaster Jiraiya about the current transgressions of one Snake Master Orochimaru, advising his immediate return to Konoha for the betterment of all its citizens.

Besides, Jiraiya needed a break. There would always be another village, organization or Rogue Mad Scientist Former Teammate/Rival Snake Sannin for him to hunt down, but there wouldn’t always be peace. Not that this situation would be anywhere near that but still. It’s the thought that counts. Hiruzen Took Care of his students (as proven by one forsaking the village, adamant about never returning, stripped of all but one of her family members--distant or otherwise--, haunted by the very practice she practically made and throwing her life away through sake and casinos; one drowning himself work and women and Anything That Works, neglecting the last thing left of his dead student and Hiruzen’s successor, isolating himself from real human interaction and refusing to accept praise, rest or time to think, along with being the author of a Certain Series; and one never having anyone to look up to, never knowing his parents, shamed for his innate snake-like appearance, desperately scouring for a way to keep himself alive to make up for his undeniable fear of death in response to so many around him dying, killing others to do so. Oh god, they were fucked up.).

“Hello there Sai,” Hiruzen began.

“Good afternoon, Lord Hokage.”

“I assume you have something for me?”

“Yes, Lord Hokage.”

“From Naruto, I assume?”

“Yes, Lord Hokage.”

“May I see it?”

“Yes, Lord Hokage.” Then Sai passed Hiruzen the scroll. 

Sai sounded like a broken record most of time, but today he had said ‘good afternoon,’ and that was progress if he’d ever did see it.

Shikaku entered then, regarding Sai with a raised brow, and pocketed two more cookies from Hiruzen, weighing his options, before sighing and tossing Sai one. 

“You sure got back early,” Hiruzen commented.

“Yeah, well it helps when you’re getting food for the Hokage.”

Sai, as you could imagine, was there quite frequently, and Shikaku and he got along quite swell, if Hiruzen were to be the judge of it.

So as Shikaku plopped a bag of takeout on Hiruzen’s desk, nodding towards the couch at Sai, Sai sat beside Shikaku and nibbled on his cookie curiously.

Naruto’s scroll to Sai was much less formal than the one address to Hiruzen; the handwriting was much less precise, characters were crossed out often, giving the appearance that Naruto remembered at the last possible moment, ‘Oh shoot, there’s this kid, too!’ and there were little scribbles of faces and doodles of random, everyday objects to the side. It was short, succinct, and basically equated to ‘ask the Hokage, he knows!’ 

Hiruzen chuckled.

* * *

******  
  
  
**

The rest of the interrogation continued much like that. The man was never forceful or aggressive with his tones or questions and Dosu managed to keep a level head through it for the most part. So, he’ll spare you the details. 

“What kind of experiments did he run?” 

“I couldn’t tell you. I’m not really science savvy.”

“Can you detail the numbers and skill levels on average of a base?”   
  


That was a tough one. The Hidden Sound was an amalgamation of people from all over the world from all different age groups. The amount of jutsu, bloodline limits and altercations or augmentations--like the one Dosu had--is unquantifiable. The Hidden Grass held maybe about a hundred to a few hundred people, but the Hidden Sound definitely had up to a thousand. He told him as such.

He asked for the number of followers.

Dosu said he didn’t know.

He wanted to know about the people recruited.

Another tough one. Not hard to explain. Just...hard to think about. Zaku sees it as generous, as a glorious blessing onto humanity that such a person like Orochimaru would exist. To take in so many was…

It was kind and cruel.

Orochimaru took in Zaku, Kin and Dosu, all orphans, outcasts, nowhere to return to and nowhere to go, people no one would give a second glance, with no one who would come to their funerals, let alone have anyone there to bury their corpses. Orochimaru took in people like that. And suddenly they were greater than themselves. Greater than they’ve ever been or ever thought they would be.

It was a drug. And Dosu was going through bad  _ bad  _ withdrawals.

Now that he thought of it, how many kids had been  _ taken?  _ Dosu generally hung out with the people around his age in the compound, but it never occurred to him some of them were different. Anyone who ever talked about their past did it with venom lacing their tone, exulting their luck for making it there. There was no inbetween. You either loved it or didn’t say anything.

He was being brainwashed, wasn’t he?

Orochimaru never seemed openly malicious, but in his own, twisted form of love, of care, he was stripping his ‘children’ of individuality, of self. Dosu was so conflicted; he actually didn’t know who he was. He had memories of a long forgotten family burned to the ground, but no attachment to it. And now all he knew of Orochimaru was put into question. He doesn’t have hobbies, doesn’t have friends...he’s lost.

And he wasn’t sure how, but the conversation eventually led to:

“Why’d he recruit you?”

Dosu wrung his hands together, instinctively biting his lower lip, “W-what?”

“Why did he recruit you?” he repeated. Internally, Dosu was glad he substituted ‘Orochimaru’ for ‘he,’ the name already feeling like bitter acid pouring down his spine.

“I, uh, I’m not really sure.” He didn’t expect the question to be a problem, and it shouldn’t have been; he could answer it without even blinking an eye. Until now.

Because the man was  _ looking at him _ . It was a look he had never  _ seen  _ before. Not towards him. It only evoked faint, distinct memories of a cozy house, pink blankets, soft smiles and warm hugs. Not burning, not red and orange and black like flames but softness. Kindness. Safety. It was the look his grandma had when he asked about his parents, a quiet sadness enveloping her face, a look into the past he could not understand.

Sympathy. Compassion. Sorrow.

The man was looking at him like his grandma had, only this time not through him. As if Dosu had gone through some tragedy with being exposed to Orochimaru and not...not saved. It would be wrong to say it was full-on pity. But…

He had not said ‘why’d  _ you _ join Orochimaru,’ no. He said ‘why did  _ he _ recruit you.’ It came to Dosu then that he really  _ had _ gone through so much, hadn’t understood it, now coming to an understanding that he  _ didn’t want it _ .  _ And this man didn’t blame him for it.  _ He saw him as a child, for the first time in his life. Not the obligation of his grandparents, not a weapon. Just a kid.

Dosu wanted to cry.

It would have been so simple to just say something ambiguous, to shrug and play it off.

He did not.

Words were like knives in his throat, but Dosu pressed on, “I-I never really met my parents,” he said in a weird, choked way, words laced with uncertainty, “So my grandparents took me in. After my mom gave birth to me, my father and she ran away together.

“I was raised in the Land of Rice Paddies, and they don’t...it’s uh. Well, it was a teen pregnancy which was looked down upon, but my mom couldn’t, uh, not have me. For a while she thought she would be able to raise me, but I guess postpartum depression got...a little too much. I get it, though. She never wanted to be a mom, and she didn’t really have any choice.”

It was true. Dosu had never met his mother nor father, but he held no hatred towards them, surprisingly. He wouldn’t trade anyone for his grandparents.

“She was still living with my grandparents at the time, and when she left, they took me in, no questions asked. They always told me they would welcome her back with open arms if she ever returned; they were the kindest guardians anyone could ask for.

“They were old though and my grandpa had just had a hip surgery, so when…” Dosu breathed deeply and said, softly, “when the house caught on fire, they couldn’t get out fast enough.”

Dosu was asleep when it started, had only woken up when a huge coughing fit after an extended period of inhaling dark, inky black smoke had raked his lungs, and immediately panicked.

There was screaming. 

Dosu’s room was relatively near the front entrance, having occupied his mother’s old room with her little trinkets, pink walls and pink sheets (he never minded, though, pink was just a color to him) while his grandparents’ room was on the second floor, on the opposite side of the house. Dosu could have left, the fire having not yet reached his room.

He did not. Sometimes, he wished he had, so that he would never have to live through what he saw. He would have the too-powerful guilt, but it wouldn’t be  _ that _ .

Dimly, Dosu registered he was recounting all of this too the man, his interrogator. Dosu had never figured out what started the fire, already having been whisked away by Orochimaru before he ever could have looked into it, likely having been dead if he hadn’t. 

Even so, he dashed through the growing flames, like the overarching arms of satan come to drag him to hell. His world seemed to narrow and Dosu could not describe the  _ heat,  _ he’d been around fires before but now it was as if an invisible force was surrounding him in infinite, immense, burning oppression. Like the palms of a demon were crushing his very existence into ashes with no chance of escape. He became keenly aware of where the outer layers of his skin really were as they begged for respite, and his lungs screamed and burned almost as loudly, so that he could only hear two things over the roar of the flames:

His battering heartbeat. And the sound of his grandmother’s screams.

But in that horrible moment, that scene that would haunt him for years to come, the idealistic image of misery and suffering, that monster that dwelled in his psyche, always just below the surface, the  _ that  _ he wished to erase from the universe without a hint of its remnants _ ,  _ he saw something. Nothing else mattered. 

His feeble, shallow breath was sucked out of him, his heartbeat shriveled up, his burning  _ everything  _ melted and there was the briefest moment of absolute clarity.

He had made it to his grandparent’s room, and he found his grandmother. His precious, most favorite person in all existence, the woman who seized the role of mother without a second thought, the one who taught him manners and to read, who hugged him tight when he was sad and kissed his scraped knees, she was standing right there.

She was facing away, but she must have heard his footsteps, somehow, despite the roar of the fire, and turned.

“Dosu?” was her last, warped, shrill, gargled breath.

Dosu remembered him screaming, his blood-curling, guttural plea, and the tears evaporating on his scorched cheeks.

Because  _ she was there _ . Standing there, hands shaking out to reach him, but--

Her.

Face.

Was.

Gone.

It was completely disfigured, gone, without a trace of something to identify her as  _ her _ , her hair in little flaming tuffs, and gone was her beautiful, gray curly hair she cared about, gone was anything about her that was her.

In its place was bubbles of flesh oozing off her, black, charred eyes and cheeks, discolored splotches and rips from skin like a hellhound had torn it off itself.

She was  _ burning _ , melting like some sick approximation of a candle, and-and--

Dosu had never wanted to die so much as he wanted to there, and with a swirling burst of every single sensation returning to him tenfold at once, he realized  _ everything he loved was gone _ .

But before he could run to her, could comfort the greatest person he ever knew, could stand and hug her warmly like she did to him until their bitter ends, before he could even speak, the ceiling collapsed.

Dosu didn’t know why he survived,  _ how  _ he survived, how anyone managed to find him in the unsalvageable wreckage of the Kinuta estate, how he even woke up after his coma, but months later, when he did, Orochimaru was there, stroking the little tuffs of his hair.

And Dosu cried. Silent, choking, desperate, he cried.

He was alone, so of course he grasped onto the exact person who, with what seemed to be just the kindness of his heart, saved his feeble and worthless life.

But kidnapping kids wasn’t okay. Experimenting on people who had no choice was never going to be okay, either. He shouldn’t have accepted it, shouldn’t have ignored it. Then if he had rejected Orochimaru first, realized he didn’t need to be better, that he was  _ better _ , he wouldn’t be here right now, wouldn’t be--

“Why’d you stay?”

_ Wouldn’t be feeling this way. _

Dosu felt a lump growing in his throat, “I-I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

“So you’re alone?”

Dosu’s chest tightened. “Yeah,” he breathed, barely a whisper.

The man reached a hand over and squeezed tightly on his bandaged fist, “Well, Kinuta Dosu, my name is Morino Ibiki. And you’re not. Not anymore. And for as long as you remain here, in Konoha, you’ll never be again.”

Dosu gulped because--because Dosu just told him everything, poured his soul out for the first time ever and-and--

Ibiki had accepted him.

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

It was maybe three hours later when Ibiki entered the room. Sai pulled out a sketchbook the size of a notepad and a brush, glancing from the paper to the office ever so often before supposedly drawing what he saw. 

By now, Shikaku was steadily making his way through the piles of paperwork that (if Hiruzen got his way) should be burned in a grand ceremony, but alas, life is unfair. Every so often he’d make a comment about it, ask Hiruzen’s decision or opinion or tilt the paper over to Sai and ask him. 

Hiruzen had been notified the three ‘Sound’ ninja had been moved to temporary holding cells, meaning it was only a matter of time before Ibiki arrived to give his report.

Hiruzen okayed Shikaku and Sai remaining in the room for the report, and they performed the standard salutations Hiruzen was far too old to deal with, yet also far too old to correct  _ everyone _ to stop multiple times then expect them to pick it back up when he bequeathed the hat to the next Hokage.

“That look on your face…” Hiruzen chuckled, “You act as if we’re about to go to war…We’re not going to war, are we?”

Ibiki coughed.

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

There was still one more thing to discuss.

For better or for worse, Dosu had whole-heartedly put his trust into a man he only just met, only just seconds ago learned the name of but still knew about his scars and more about his life than anyone else, so there was no backing out now.

Ibiki was finishing up his notes, tidying his files and ready to call it a day when: “I-Ibiki?” He was hesitant, the name unfamiliar, ‘excuse me’ too formal and ‘wait!’ being too forward. He still came across as meek as a mouse though.

Ibiki snapped up to attention before smiling, “Yes?”   
  
“I--uh, there’s something--there’s something really important you should know. A-about Orochimaru.”

Dosu was so unfamiliar with being so open, so childish, so...vulnerable.

Ibiki sat back down, “What is it?”   
  


Dosu gulped, “Orochimaru...he’s planning something big. Something bad.”

Ibiki’s face hardened, “Do you know what it is?”

Dosu nodded.

“What?” he, lowering his voice, like trying to coax a cat to come out of a tree.

“He’s going to destroy Konoha.”

Ibiki pulled out his notepad once more, “Come again?”

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

“Oh great, you’ve come to ruin my day twice, have you, Morino?” Shikaku drawled.

“War?” Sai inquired, “why would we be going to war?”

“We’re not. Not exactly.” Ibiki relayed the information his team and he had gathered from the apparent Sound ninja, an (un)official village established by Orochimaru in the Land of Rice Paddies. His experiments were as rampant as ever, too. But they had found some locations.

And discovered Orochimaru was planning to “Krush” Konoha. Yes, Hiruzen was the pinnacle of comedy and wit, he’ll take his award now please and thank you.

* * *

**  
  
  
  
**

“I...I don’t think I was meant to know about it--like his experiments. He made it pretty obvious something was going to happen, but never gave any specifics. It’s why I was stationed in the Hidden Grass, actually.”

“So the Hidden Grass base is where a majority of his forces are?”

“Not likely--putting all of your soldiers in one base doesn’t leave you much opportunity for contingencies in case something goes wrong.”   
  


Ibiki nodded, “And you don’t know where those other bases are, right?”

“Right. But that’s not the point. He’s not relying on  _ his  _ forces.”

“How do you mean?”

“He’s working with the Hidden Sand.”

Suna and Konoha were allies. Everyone knew that. Inconsistency número uno. 

If the look on his face was any clue, Ibiki was as confused as he was, “I know, it doesn’t make sense. And it only gets more confusing from there.”

“Of course, because nothing can be simple with him, can it?” Ibiki sighed. 

“Unfortunately not.”

Inconsistency number two: Orochimaru rarely held grudges. Odd, he knows, not what one would expect. However, the entire time Dosu knew him, he never once acted on his personal feelings. There was always a motive behind it. To an outsider, it was confusing, but ask any one Sound-nin and they’d agree. Orochimaru just...wasn’t malevolent. It inconvenienced him. He had a terrible sense of empathy, yes (anyone could see that), but he wasn’t as cold and heartless as the world perceived him. So, no, Dosu couldn’t see his motivation for attacking Konoha being for revenge. Maybe for one person, but he would never take out his barely-there anger on  _ thousands _ .

He told Ibiki as such.

Inconsistency number three: War? It would explain the Sand ninja, and Orochimaru would be able to slip under the radar of neighboring hidden villages to conduct more widespread experiments, but how was he going to hide that he was involved with the assault? No hidden village would let Orochimaru go if he made himself that big of a threat. As of now, they hadn’t paid him much mind, letting the Leaf deal with their problems, but not if he does this they. Will. Not. Respond. Well. And, as far as Dosu was concerned, Orochimaru had no qualms about taking the responsibility afterwards with his attitude towards it and even if he didn't, it's not guaranteed to cause war. Even still, if he doesn’t want war, Dosu’s previous points on the hidden villages still stand.

Inconsistency number four: Back to the Sand part. Why  _ S _ una? If he intends to destroy the Leaf, there’s no way just Sand ninja alone could accomplish that, and why depend on them? He’s got an army of genetically enhanced ninja of whom were personally trained by a  _ sannin _ . It sounds like he’s...well, like he’s  _ trying  _ to deabilitate himself.

Personally, Ibiki wanted to bang his head against a wall, “When?”

“A month,” Dosu sighed.

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
  
  
**

“Lord, we just can’t decipher his motives. Why let this information be so easy for us to attain? Why work with Suna when he’s well capable of having an invasion with objectively well chances of success--”

“He wants to take credit.”

“Credit?”

“I doubt he cares about any of that. He just wants to flaunt his self-proclaimed victory, wants the village that ridiculed him to fear him. If I know him, he likely just wants to hurt me as much as possible, but I won’t let that happen.”

The problem in that very noble, inspiring speech was, as he’d soon find out, that Hiruzen really didn’t know Orochimaru.

“Then what should we do, Lord Hokage?”

And for one of the very few times in all the time Shikaku had known him, Hiruzen got serious.

**  
  
  
  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gonna be honest, 99% of the backstories and explanations here are 100% bs that I pulled out of my ass. They’re not canon at all (like that Nara thing? Came to me as I was aboutta go to sleep. And Dosu? Completely made up). But holy crap the Sai and Naruto friendship is actually melting my heart I think I need an IV of these bois. Its sMol SAI GUYS CMON
> 
> Few notes on if you skipped:  
> Dosu's covered in bandages from a house fire where his two caretakers (his grandparents) died. When he wakes up afterward, Orochimaru's there and boom, now he's got a new pupil, but fire is a no go. The parentheses thing is Hiruzen saying he found a dead kid after the nine-tails attack
> 
> (P.S. The description of phantom pain isn't accurate, I am not a medical professional and I tried to do some research on what not to do with traumatic events but I couldn't find anything very useful, I'll look more into it though) Also, Dosu doesn’t have a bandaged hand in canon but he does here b/c I wanted that scene with Ibiki saying Dosu's not alone


	6. The Squad Sai Super Septet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never let it be said that Sai has never had a sleepover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ll return to your regularly scheduled knucklehead next chapter seriously how does this keep happening, this chapter was meant to be all wave imsorry (at least I got that last part in forgiveme)
> 
> (This was meant to be short how it’s it 9.5k and 28 pages that’s literally longer than a fic that took me like five months to write hElP)
> 
> Also, I expect this to probably be the chapter with the most mistakes (not that all my other chapters don’t have plenty cOUGH) but I’ll go back and edit some more in the morning

Shikamaru was suspicious. 

His mother had woken him up from one of his numerous naps that day, to his immense chagrin (Ino had once asked him about it—‘ _ How  _ do  _ you sleep so much?’  _ To which Shikamaru deftly replied  _ ‘How do  _ you _ talk so much?’ _ —needless to say, sleep was a thing Naras would never get enough of).

He had been begrudgingly dragged out of bed, begrudgingly forced into ninja attire, begrudgingly spoon-fed, begrudgingly kissed fiercely on the cheek and begrudgingly carted off by Ino to god-knows-where.

Apparently this was A Very Important Mission, by Choji’s standard, as he agreed with Ino’s lecturing of him. 

Oh great. If even  _ Choji  _ was taking this seriously,  _ he  _ was expected to take this seriously. 

Not a good mood lifter. 

“This is such a drag.” Shikamaru bemoaned. 

Ino rolled her eyes, “ _ Everything’s  _ a drag to you.”

“That’s ‘cause it is.”

“Ever thought of having a new catch phrase? Oh, wait, that’s too much of a  _ drag,  _ too, isn’t it? Hey, Choji, you and I should come up with our own catch phrase, how does that sound?”

Shikamaru generally ignored Ino at every possible moment (including now, where she would continue rambling on until she could find a good enough reason to stop), but she didn’t take it personally; he ignored everyone and everything. His mother had made it quite clear on a number of occasions how  _ ‘it’s a miracle anyone in this clan stays alive with your kind of work ethic,’  _ but Shikamaru didn’t care. 

Working was too troublesome. Not working was too troublesome. So he decided to slip through the middle with a thing he called the ‘Illusion of Work.’ 

Once Shikamaru decided he might as well learn genjutsu to make it easier to look like he cared, but that was also too troublesome. 

Tossing Choji a stolen rice ball he snatched on the way out, Shikamaru ditched its bag in some public trash can in his path. It was then that Shikamaru noticed Choji was taking this  _ extra serious.  _

The sun was setting, and Shikamaru could see the Hokage Tower in the distance. That was nowhere near in the forefront of Shikamaru’s thoughts, however, as it appeared Choji was... _ worried.  _

Iruka-sensei used to sigh and say  _ ‘Eventually, Shikamaru, it’ll hit you that being a ninja isn’t just fun and games,’  _ along with a story of a ninja he knew (or used to know, in some cases). 

Now, don’t get him wrong, Shikamaru didn’t ever believe being a ninja was fun and games. It just seemed like the easiest way out (as it’s not like he  _ intended _ to be something stupid like the Hokage’s advisor or anything). No other job appealed to him. 

Shikamaru side-eyed him. He wasn’t the comforting type, like…well, Choji. He didn’t feel like hugging him, and asking ‘ _ What’s wrong?’ _

So he  _ patted  _ him on the shoulder and asked him “What’s wrong?”

Choji looked up, “I was just…where’s Asuma-sensei?”

Ino stopped in her tracks, head whipping around (almost slapping Choji and him with her ridiculously long ponytail), “Wait, yeah. Where is he?” She asked, perplexed. 

It was then the emptiness of the streets came into full focus. Sure, it was getting late, but that never stopped the hussle of the Hidden Leaf’s streets before, especially with the rambunctious youth. The sun hadn’t even set.

“I’ll do you one better; where is  _ everyone _ ?”

Ino opened her mouth to retort, but noticed Shikamaru was right (big shocker, really).

So yeah, Shikamaru was suspicious. First, a mission briefing this late. Which was fine (not for him, but it wouldn’t be a problem to others if he wasn’t in a newly-formed genin team). Then, the village was all the sudden deserted. His mother hadn’t seemed worried, had she?

Were they walking into trouble?

No, that can’t be right. Not to un-toot his own horn or anything, but The Newly-Formed Ino-Shika-Cho Next Generation Extraordinaire Team 10 was anything from extraordinary. 

Beware, scary genins coming through, truly. 

Choji nodded, “I noticed that, too. It’s like everyone’s just vanished.” Choji looked ponderous for a moment then “Hey, Ino, that Anbu didn’t happen to have any clues on what our mission would be about, did he?”

Ino mimicked Choji’s previous expression before sighing, “No, I don’t…I don’t  _ think _ he said anything else, but he must have when he was talking to my dad.”

“An  _ Anbu _ came to tell you about your mission?” Shikamaru asked, exasperated.

“I  _ told  _ you this would be important. Anyways, I didn’t actually hear anything he—I think it was a he—said, I just walked into the kitchen and ‘happened upon them at a good time, now go and collect your teammates, Ino, you have a mission briefing at the Hokage Tower’ and be prepared to pack your things’ or whatever.” 

This didn’t seem to ease Choji’s nerves, so Ino added, “Hey, don’t worry about it. We’ll find out soon enough what it’ll be. I’m sure Asuma-sensei’ll meet us there, ‘kay? Besides, maybe it’ll be fun! There’s no way the mission’s a D-ranked if our briefing’s this late and the whole packing thing kinda seals the deal.

“And, besides, if you  _ think  _ it’ll end terribly, it will! It’s all about perception. We’re not  _ the  _ Team 10 for nothing, right Shikamaru?”

_ Beware the scary genins, indeed.  _ “Yeah, sure.”

Ah, Ino. What was with the Yamanakas and motivational speeches? Maybe that was their Super Secret bloodline limit. It  _ almost _ made even  _ Shikamaru  _ willing to clean his room. Almost. 

Ino leveled her with a glare at that before returning to her incessant ramblings. Shikamaru sometimes wondered if she unraveled the meaning of life in one of her sessions, and Shikamaru missed it forever because he was just too lazy to listen. 

Eh, that was fine with him. 

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

It never occurred to Shikamaru how uncomfortable it was walking in an empty shopping district. 

Well yeah, it was a prime hangout spot now, but people were  _ supposed  _ to be here. It wasn’t like stumbling upon some secret hideaway in the woods. 

It was eerie. 

Choji squinted for a moment at the road ahead, “Hey, is that…?”

Almost desperate to see they weren’t alone and trapped in some alternative dimension, Ino eagerly asked, “Where, where!”

Choji pointed, “There. Isn’t that Kiba and his team?”

If Ino’s hope was a balloon, it would’ve deflated at that, “Oh, that’s nice.”

“But…?” Shikamaru supplied. 

“Well, Kiba’s fine if a bit loud, but Hinata and Shino are…I just don’t really know them.”

“Oh thy darling Ino,” Shikamaru drawled, “the Tamer of Beasts, Queen of Beauty and Grace, Empress of All Things Social, could it be? Hath thou truliest fallist from thine grace frometh these two measly introverts?”

Ino‘s face darkened.

“Nay, I expected too much. Innate shyness and lack of companionship are your Achilles, I see now.”

Choji chuckled nervously, “They probably just aren’t good with talking to others. ‘Member your old friend, uh—”

“ _ Billboard brow _ .”

“Uh, yeah. She was shy when you met her and you two got along fine. Give them a chance, maybe they’re chatterboxes just like you?”

(Choji was the mediator, like always, and yeah, Shikamaru was obviously right, setting Ino up to recruit those too to her friend group, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t playing with fire, didn’t mean she wasn’t  _ scary _ .)

A fire entered Ino’s eyes, and she growled, her words coming out slow and deliberate, “Listen here, Nara Shikamaru,” Choji gulped, “I’ll bet you two hundred ryo that by the end of this month, no,  _ week,  _ Hinata and Shino will be my best friends, cross my heart and hope to die.”

Shikamaru scoffed, “Geez, you're expensive, but fine, you’re on.”

Ino snapped back into a grin and, hope reinstated, jogged up to Kiba, Hinata and Shino, waving “Hey, guys! Wait up!”

Energy and Shikamaru were inversely proportional. So, as Ino sped up, Shikamaru slowed down. It’s a law of nature. Well, he supposes, hypothetically, that would imply Ino’s decreased energy would  _ increase  _ his own (he shivered at the thought), but he quickly dismissed it; if Ino got tired, the world would end.

Plain and simple.

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

“Oh hi, Ino!” Kiba barked, his teammates followed in kind, although in more mundane and muted ways.

“What’re you guys up to?”

Ino seemed to have an obsession with knowing everyone. If it was business, it was her business.

Shino responded to that one, “We are on our way to the Hokage Office. Why? We have a mission.”

“Wait seriously? So do we! Isn’t that…well, maybe we’ll be working together, wouldn’t that be cool?” Ino leaned in conspiratorially to Hinata to which she squeaked in inaudible agreement.

“I don’t know,” said Kiba, “doesn’t seem likely. It’s probably just some D-rank babysitting and we were the only ones available.”

“Au contraire! I have a feeling it’s super important. An Anbu came to my house to tell my dad about it.”

“Seriously? My mom just told me to get the heck out of the house.”

“Yeah, wanna bet on it? Whether or not the mission’s a Super Top Secret Important Covert Operation?”

“Uh—“

“Betting? Again? Is that your thing now, Ino?” Shikamaru asked as he lazily approached the group (and thus caught up with the hyper Yamanaka).

“Catch phrases, I’ve been trying a few out. ‘Bet on it’ sounds cool enough. Don’t you agree?” She made puppy dog eyes at Hinata, and she squeaked again, confused at the sudden attention from a girl of whom she was certain (until now) didn’t even know she existed.

“I guess,” Choji remarked, mulling it over.

“And it’s an easy enough way to get money. Kind of. I don’t know. If my dad’s poison is alcohol then gambling’s good enough to be mine.”

Hinata looked horrified, so Ino wrapped an arm around her shoulder, “Anyway, we should probably get going, wouldn’t want to be late again.”

Shikamaru sighed, “The Hokage won’t care.”

“ _ I  _ care. And so does Shino.”

Shino just shrugged, though, adjusting his glasses, so Ino wrapped her other arm around his shoulder, and thus began the process of adopting the introverts that were Hyuga Hinata and Aburame Shino.

Shikamaru felt bad for them.

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

“You know, I’ve never seen you without your glasses, Shino.”

Ino always felt like the Hokage tower looked smaller from the outside, and Shino was inclined to agree.

It was always a bustle of activity. Everyone was doing something in some way. 

In all the times Shino had been there, that was true.

Until now. 

He was unsure if his teammates had noticed it, but he did. The streets were desolate. The Hokage Tower was emptied and eerily silent. Everything felt out of place. Why? Shino had no idea. 

“Have we passed anyone at all this trip?” Shino asked, deftly avoiding Ino’s prompt.

Hinata shook her head, “It’s like everyone just vanished.”

“Yeah, I was talking to my team about that. It’s creepy,” Ino said with her aforementioned team trailing at a steady pace behind the trio, chatting. “And hey, you’re avoiding the question.”

“Last I checked, you didn’t ask a question.”

“See?  _ Avoiding. _ Why do you wear them all the time?”

“I feel like the absence of  _ everyone  _ is more concerning.”

“And  _ I  _ feel like the presence of your glasses is even more concerning, right, Hinata?” The girl flushed in response. “See? She agrees with me.”

Shino sighed but humored her anyway, and, with a flash of his glasses said, ”It’s the only surefire way to prevent pesky onlookers from noticing my tears.”

There was a split second when both Ino and Hinata stopped and stared before Ino  _ wheezed _ , “Oh. My. God! Holy-- _ Shino _ , you-you actually made a  _ joke _ !” She gasped for air, “Oh, I-I need to tell Shikamaru about this! The world deserves to know.”

Hinata giggled nervously, “It-it was a joke, right Shino?”   
  
Shino smirked and continued walking. Hinata followed suit.

“H-hey guys! Wait up!” Ino said, trying to recover from her fit of laughter that somehow left her on the floor. “But seriously, you should tell me sometime. I won’t be able to sleep until you do, you know that?”   
  


“Oh, I’m betting on it.”

Ino stuck her tongue out, “Pleh, meanie. I bet you have really pretty eyes--like Hinata’s.”

Hinata flushed, “They aren’t…that pretty.”

Ino looked personally offended at that, “ _ What _ ?!”

Hinata looked away, “They’re huge a-and a weird color and look funny and I-I don’t like them.”

“Ehh? Seriously!? What mirror have you been looking at? Man, for having the Byakugan, your vision’s pretty impaired, isn’t it?”

“How poetic.”

“Oh shush yourself before I do it for you, Shino. Anyway, you know how rare it is to have a dojutsu? There are only  _ three _ , two of which are practically extinct and the other trapped within the Hyuga clan. Somehow you got to be born, not only in the clan, but as the  _ heir _ and manage to  _ unlock  _ it. That’s no easy feat!

“Besides, when have you ever seen a person with eyes like yours? Besides in your clan, I guess. They’re mesmerizing and compliment your hair perfectly! Don’t sell yourself short. Geez, Konoha sure is lucky to have the next heir of the Hyuga clan be so humble.”

“I don’t…I don’t think my dad will let me be the head of the clan,” Hinata whispered.

“Huh?” Ino’s eyebrow twitched.

Hinata gulped, “I’m weak,” she breathed; it was the only thing she could force out.

“That’s just a flat lie.”

Hinata’s eyes shot up to the speaker: Shino.

“Do you want to be the head?” Ino asked, concerned.

Hinata chewed her lip, “I don’t-I don’t think I deserve it.”

“But do you  _ want _ it?”

Hinata nodded. 

Ino looked up in thought, “Well, there was never any question on who the Yamanaka clan head will be, and you’re looking at her. Now, I’m a picky girl, and if the Hyugas just so  _ happen  _ to instate someone I don’t think is…adequate for their title, I might just so  _ happen  _ to get all my friends and…pull a few strings. So I wouldn’t worry about that too much.”

Suddenly Hinata was gaping, but Shino snorted, “I’d do the same.” 

* * *

**  
  
  
**

In the hour it took for Team 8 and 10 to enter the Hokage’s Office, many things had been accomplished.

The first of them being: “I want the village evacuated in a week.”

A week was nowhere near long enough to get people to upheave themselves and leave in an orderly fashion, but any longer would be a risk.

Sai had raised a hand and offered to be the one to inform the wall guard of whom would release massive red banners to drape over said wall, signaling the type of emergency in a covert manner. Sai stood to leave, and Hiruzen told him his secretary would handle the rest. 

First issue: evacuation, dealt with.

Ibiki had informed them that his coworker had extracted a total of three other locations in the Land of Fire from Kin as she had been moving from one team to the next, trying out teams that would boost her skill sets until she inevitably met Zaku and Dosu. That threw a curveball into their plans, but it was unlikely for there to be any other hideouts. Better informed than not. 

“What’s the plan, Shikaku?”

Hiruzen sometimes felt like the Sage of Six Paths himself created the Nara clan to make sure life was functional for mere mortals.

Said man looked down in thought before: “Send three teams of Anbu to scout out each location: one heading the vanguard, one covering their rear and one split for the flanks. It’s not ideal, but we can’t rely on sending an equivalent in jōnin. Too obvious. Too loud. Anbu are far stronger than the average jōnin, but if there is an unprecedented attack, there will be strength in numbers.

“The Anbu should be able to clear the bases out, but make sure to stipulate only if they feel they’ll be able to. We can’t risk revealing to the enemy that we know what we know.

Split the remaining half of the Anbu to lead individual groups of chūnin and jōnin in either counterattack measures or assuring the civilians can safely evacuate. The genin should evacuate, too.”

Yes, a gift from the Sage himself, indeed

The Third Hokage waved a hand and an Anbu member appeared beside him, “Do as Shikaku said; Inform Team Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Epsilon, Zeta, Eta, Theta, Iota, Lambda, Nu and Xi of their missions. I’ll leave the formations to your discretion. You’ll be heading off in the morning,” Hiruzen passed him a scroll of the locations. “Send the remaining Black-Ops captains here and the new genin teams—Team Kurenai and Asuma--here, that is all. You are dismissed.”

The Anbu Division was really it’s own world. Captains were really a tradition and there were no ‘set’ rules besides ‘obey the Hokage.’ By the time someone became an Anbu, they’ve already earned the full trust of the village and are treated with such. They have freedoms other ninjas do not. 

They were the elite of the elite. All powerful, all leaders, all respected. 

Still though, there were only twenty-five teams of four Anbu members at a time. The first twenty-four were named after the Greek alphabet, having their team’s letter under their mask for identification. The twenty-fifth was always and forever the Hokage guard. 

Unlike normal Anbu, they bore the oh-so-famous spiral tattoo in golden ink. A little flashy, but the Hokage guard (especially in diplomatic settings) needed to be identified by the special chakra infused with them, else they would be treated as a threat. 

Second issue: the Orochimaru's hideouts, dealt with. 

The Anbu nodded curtly and promptly vanished. “As for you Ibiki, thank you. You did very well. You may go.”

Ibiki bowed deeply, and turned to leave, but just as Ibiki was reaching for the door handle, Hiruzen added “Have you ever considered joining the council?”

Ibiki froze. “I’m afraid I have not, sir. It would interfere with my duties as the Head of T&I.”

“Oh, who told you that? It’s not as demanding as it sounds, we just have meetings every so often to discuss current affairs, implementing and removing laws--things like that. It’s gotten a bigger reputation than what it actually is. Besides, Shikaku’d love to have someone with a mind as quick as yours to play shoji with when things get too dull.” Said man was currently working his way through another crossword puzzle--he went through those far too fast for Hiruzen to understand--but did not object.

“My apologies sir, but the council is made primarily of people with as much political stature as you.”

“Ah, what rubbish. I made the council to advise me. Even if it helps being able to have a close eye on the Leaf’s most influential people, the council is not some high-end club. It’s meant for people who I think deserve to be there.

“Besides, there are too many old folks in there. We need some fresh eyes.”

Ibiki eyed Hiruzen but he just chuckled, “Think about it, alright?”

“Of course sir.”

Third issue: Ibiki please join the council  _ please _ , a work in progress. 

And lastly, the fourth issue: deal with the genin teams, also a work in progress.

Oh yeah, and the threat of invasion: think about it later. Little steps.

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

Ino groaned in barely suppressed irritation, “ _ Seriously _ ? All this build up and our first real mission is saving Billboard Brow’s lousy butt?”

Shikamaru sighed, “What she ever do to you again?”

Ino huffed, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“I think it was over some boy,” Choji whispered.

Ino glared, “He’s not just ‘some’ boy. He’s  _ Uchiha Sasuke _ , my future husband.”

“Oh yeah, I remember him. That emo jerk from the academy?” Shikamaru asked.

“Hey man, that’s a little far, dontcha think?” Kiba said, holding his hands up in a placating gesture, “He’s, uh, well you’ve heard about his family, haven’t you?”   
  
“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean he has to take it out on everyone else.”

Choji placed a hand on his shoulder, “You’re right, but we all do it sometimes. Cut him some slack, I’m sure he’s nice once you get to know him.”   
  
Shikamaru sighed, “Yeah I know, but I still don’t think he’s worth all the fuss. I wouldn’t cut off my friendship with you over some girl.”

Choji smiled brightly at that then turned back to Ino, “Yeah, it was so fun when you brought Sakura over for dinner all those years ago. She’s pretty cool, you know Ino?”

Ino sighed, “Fine. I guess so. Maybe when I show up as her knight and shining armor, she’ll be easier to handle.”

“Your team bickers a lot, Ino,” Hinata said once Ino had calmed down.

“It’s our job,” Shikamaru quipped back.

Hiruzen coughed awkwardly into his palm and suddenly all six genins’ eyes met his own (immediately or otherwise--seeing as one Nara’s eyes ‘got lost on the path of life’), “As I was saying, the mission is to remain the same.” Hiruzen eyed the fidgeting genins, “Gather information. Minimal confrontation. Pack for about six weeks, you’ll set off tomorrow, any questions?”

The original mission of Team 7 was simple: just standard protection and information gathering. 

Tazuna requested a time period of four to six weeks--depending on the circumstance or how long they needed to gather the information--for the ninja’s services. The length made Iruka, who dealt with the classification and distribution of C and D-ranks to genins (along with the assignment of genin missions in general), wary as, though more experienced genin wouldn’t have a problem with it, a team like Team 7 would have never left the village on official business before, but it was definitely not a B-rank, and Sakura and Sasuke were the top ninja of their class, for a reason.

Unlike many other graduating classes, the top students, Sasuke and Sakura, were in that order. Sakura was the top kunoichi and second of all her peers, meaning she had surpassed all of the clan heirs—not something to scoff at.

Nevertheless, what Tazuna intended to do with the information gathered (that being locations, numbers, etc.--the basics) or the welfare of his family or him after the mission was none of Team 7’s concerns.

It would have been a great opportunity for them to ease into ‘real’ missions. Dipping their toe in the pool.

Not cannonballing. Fully clothed. With a running start. 

Apparently, some kid’s father was in danger or already dead, and Orochimaru was in the area, likely working with the crime lord to carry out his business in private.

Naruto knew the kid and disliked Orochimaru, Kakashi doesn’t want to traumatize the kid with a dead dad and realized it was the first opportunity in a long time to gather information on the sannin, Sakura either doesn’t have a reason to continue the mission or is doing it out of pride and/or duty, Sasuke probably doesn’t see any problem with continuing the mission, and Hiruzen didn’t want them to continue but needed the clan heirs out of the village, as far away as possible. 

That being for obvious reasons.

Why  _ not  _ send them as backup? It was an all hands on deck situation, so only genins could be deployed, and they were strong? Maybe? Hopefully. Hiruzen  _ believed  _ in them. 

Hiruzen almost wished Konohamaru could go with them, but he’d have protection; he’d be okay. 

Though Orochimaru had likely cleared out because of the upcoming attack, so many things could go wrong, thus Sai. His Super Beast Scroll was excellent for, well, almost every circumstance. 

Did he mention Sai would be going with them? No? Well, Sai’s going with them. As the team leader. That one’s on Hiruzen, sorry.

The group of six genins eyed each other before Kiba raised his hand, “Why can’t you just, uh, I don’t know send a pigeon?” Kiba asked, scratching his head, “Like, to tell ‘em to come back.”

Choji agreed, “Yeah, I mean, no offense guys, but we’re not...the most qualified for this type of mission.”

A collective “none taken” rang out among the room except for an indignant “hey!” from, you guessed it, Kiba.

Hiruzen nodded in response, “You are both correct; however, there are certain factors that hinder my canceling it, and in regard to the lack of availability from other ninjas, I believe you to be the best option to complete it. I have utter faith in you.”

“Why aren’t there any other available ninja?” Shino asked, eying him warily (or at least, the shape of his eyebrows made him look like he was eying him warily as no one could actually  _ see  _ his eyes). 

“That is of none of your concern.”

Hiruzen was, tada,  _ avoiding  _ the question. He was using his big kid words to confuse them.

No one was buying it, but Hinata tried, in her own, barely audible way, to cheer them up with, “Hey, at least we’ll get to know each other, right? It might be good practice?”

More collective, albeit hesitant, agreement, and “So I take it Asuma-sensei’s not going to be with us?” from Shikamaru. His father was busy on the couch, unaware of the outside world, and Shikamaru didn’t feel like pointing him out. 

Hiruzen sighed, “I’m afraid not. Sai will be acting as your captain.”

“Uh, who’s Sai?” Kiba asked, perplexed.

“He’s on his way.”   
  
“Would it not be beneficial if our team leader was someone we are comfortable with?” Shino asked, “Why? Because this is our first mission outside the village.”

“Yeah, this all smells rotten.”

They continued to vent their grievances of the like until the Hokage Office door swung open.

The genins stood still for a moment, then:

“Oh,” Shikamaru said. “ _ That  _ Sai.”

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

A moment later and the room was an explosion of noise despite Ino and Kiba being practically the only two contributing to it. If Hiruzen didn’t know better, Sai might have looked... _ flustered _ with all the questions being thrown his way. What was this? A press conference?   
  


“Settle down, children,” Hiruzen chuckled to which Ino huffed ‘I’m not a little kid’ under her breath, leading Hiruzen to chuckle further. “This,” he waved a hand to the door, “is Sai. He’ll be your team leader.”

Choji looked at the boy, confused for a moment before he said “Oh yeah, I remember him. Doesn’t he come over for dinner sometimes, Shikamaru?”

“Yep.”

“Wait, seriously? You know him?” Kiba’s head whipped back in the direction of Sai and realized he shouldn’t have been surprised he didn’t recognize ‘Sai’ in the slightest.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, “Duh, weren’t you listening?”

“Huh? I don’t remember meeting anyone named Sai—” Ino perked up, eyes locking with this new ‘Sai’ guy, and suddenly a cat ripped her tongue out and drove with it because she was speechless.

A smile glued itself on Ino’s face and she rushed over to shake hands with the stranger, “Hi! I’m Ino, nice to meet you!”

Sai looked around nervously, “Uh, hello there.”   
  


Ino didn’t hear the indecision in his voice. She loved him immediately. Well, actually, Ino loved pretty much  _ everyone _ , but now there was no escape for him. He just signed his life away to the whims of an energetic teenage girl.

Oh well. Poor Sai. He did need more friends, though.

Hiruzen coughed again, “Well, that’s all I have for you today. You’ll be leaving at sunrise. Dismissed.”

As the kids shuffled out, Sai remained, standing still as if waiting for him to be addressed. 

And, well, he was. He didn’t actually know anything about the mission.

However, even when Hiruzen had dismissed him again, he also didn’t move.

Eventually, Hiruzen relented with a sigh, “Fine, if things go south with the enemy, I’ll leave it up to your discretion on how to proceed: with force or otherwise.”

“Understood, Lord Hokage.” Sai was intelligent enough to prepare for the worst case scenario, but he wouldn’t disobey the Hokage; if Hiruzen wouldn’t give him permission, he wouldn’t do it.

He’d gotten better at making his own decisions in everyday life, but ninja life was completely different. Maybe being a team leader responsible for six peers’ lives would be good for him…?

As Sai exited the room, trailing behind Shikaku, Hiruzen could officially cross off the fourth issue: deal with the genin teams, complete.

  
  


* * *

**  
  
  
**

Sai wouldn’t say he had any plans, per se, but being jumped by Shikaku and the young Yamanaka would not have been one of them if he had.

It’s a “sleepover at the Yamanakas,” apparently, a “team building exercise” but Sai had never participated in either of those, mission or otherwise. If you didn’t act as a team with your team, someone was going to die. Quite simple.

“It’s like Shino said, we need a team leader who we’re comfortable with. What better way is there to get to know a person other than a sleepover?”   
  


Sai wouldn’t know a better way to get to know a person as he has rarely ever ‘gotten to know’ one. 

“A...sleepover?”

Shikaku’s son--Shikamaru--groaned, “Oh come on. Don’t you have packing stuff to do?”

“And we’re already going to be spending six weeks together,” Choji cried, trying to come to terms with the fact neither Shikamaru nor he would win this one.

Sai and Team 8 seemed fine with it, (not quite understanding the implications), and then Sai smiled at her and said, “That sounds amazing, thank you beautiful,” like Naruto had been telling him to (and  _ Oh No  _ was Shikamaru’s only thought).

“I think it sounds like a great idea,” Shikaku said, to which mini-him replied ‘Of course you’d be on board with it, you just love Mrs. Yamanaka’s food’ under his breath.

Ino’s smile grew ten times wider, and she jumped with glee, “Awesome! Meet at my house in an hour so I can get the food ready. And, oh, don’t forget to pack for the mission tomorrow!” before running off into the sunset.

“Uh,” Sai said when suddenly the Yamanaka came barreling back with a few notes in her hands. 

“Here you go! Sorry, forgot you guys have never been to my house before,” she said, passing out papers with her address apparently before she continued her skip to her house.

Mini-Shikaku groaned again.

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
**

Packing was second nature to Sai, so he finished early. Too early to begin the trek to Ino’s house. Too late to start painting.

Thus, Sai sat alone in the twilight of his drab room.

It had been labeled his the moment Naruto received the, at the time, brokedown inn, and in consequence, the moment Sai was assigned to watch Naruto. He didn’t know how to decorate it, so Naruto hung some of his paintings on the walls. A taste of individuality. He would be able to tell the difference between  _ his  _ room and the room of another at the inn. A tangible place to return to. To ground himself at. To grow attached to.

Things have changed so much, haven’t they?

Sai remembered the cold, dark walls of the compound. He remembered trying to sleep. He remembered the dim moonlight shining through his window. He remembered shouting.

There was a scuffle outside the door, hushed whispers and harsh words. The boy ignored it.

The shouting got louder,  _ closer _ . The boy ignored it.

It was only when the door to his room was slammed open did he shoot upwards.

There were two men at the door, one unequivocally although confusingly Danzo, the other…

The Hokage.

The boy sat stockstill at attention, waiting to be addressed.

“Come.” Lord Danzo snapped. He obeyed.

“Are there more like him?” the Hokage breathed. He sounded furious.

“No.” He was lying. The boy didn’t understand why Lord Danzo would lie to the Hokage (one does not simply  _ lie  _ to the Hokage), but ninja lied. And Danzo was the best liar he had ever met. He would not question it.

“ _ Danzo. _ ”

“I am not some petulant child,  _ Hiruzen _ . You have taken the rest, he is the last of the Foundation. Nothing I did was illegal. All of its members came willingly.”

The boy could not remember his past. He could neither confirm nor deny this. 

“ _ A child cannot make that decision. _ ”

“ _ It was either that or let them die on the streets.  _ I saved this boy, don’t you forget.”

The Hokage grabbed the boy’s forearm, but Lord Danzo placed a firm hand on his shoulder. The Hokage glared.

“If you wish to regain even a sliver of the respect you once held,” the Hokage seethed, “Shimura, you will let this boy go.”

Lord Danzo unclenched his tightened jaw and loosened his grip on the boy’s shoulder with great difficulty, “Fine.”

“You should be grateful I don’t kill you where you stand.”

“You would never.  _ You can’t _ . You’re too weak.”

The Hokage glared, but marched off, the boy trailing his heels in the moonlight.

Once they stepped outside, they encountered a boy with blond hair. He looked tired.

“This is Naruto,” the boy looked up to the voice of Danzo approaching from behind them, “His protection will be your new mission.”

The two made eye contact and the first thing he had ever said to him was a drawl, “This is where you live?”

The boy blinked.

(Naruto led him to the decrepit inn, and his first words to Naruto were, “This is where  _ you  _ live?”)

Now, Danzo wasn’t around much anymore. He had been informed that when trying to persuade the Hokage to allow one of his agents to look over Naruto, he had gotten suspicious, leading to the location Sai remained at to be compromised.

‘ _ It was a bluff. A fake. He needed to find something to stop looking. We win either way.’ _

They tried to interrogate him. Sai wouldn’t speak. They stopped eventually. He was ‘too young’ to deal with the stress.

It’s not like he could, anyway. Not with the curse mark on his tongue. He remembers, distantly, receiving it. It hurt. Bad. He doesn’t think he talked at all for weeks.

Did he want to? That was another full can of worms that he didn’t want to think about, and he  _ really shouldn’t be thinking about this— _

“Sai.”

Sai’s head snapped up. 

Sai had a feeling that maybe Danzo wasn’t doing the best for the village.

“Report,” was all the Root Anbu said. Sai reported.

He’s never questioned anything he’s said before.

“He’s trying to get the future clan heads out of the village and keep the jinchuuriki out.”

Could he…try to tell Naruto about it?

“This isn’t what Lord Danzo planned, is it? It was meant to be during the chūnin exams.”

“Unfortunately, it isn’t. Lord Danzo isn't worried, though. We’re setting out for Suna tomorrow.”

He had never tested the boundaries of the seal.

_ Would he dare to try?  _

The boy felt an all encompassing urge to  _ do something.  _ He felt very yellow. A little red, too. Sai couldn’t understand emotions well, but Naruto had expertly weaved in the psychological effect colors had into explaining them.

Sai never used color before for this reason, but when he imagined this taking place in a room of yellow, he can understand the feeling of being ‘anxious,’ too.

“That will be all,” and the ninja disappeared.

Maybe he was being irrational. Naruto was getting to him. But…

Why expose Root just to get the chance to have one of its agents get close to the jinchuuriki?

The Nine-Tails’ jinchuuriki was powerful, sure, but something just didn’t feel right.

The risk of collapse for a chance to observe one boy.

Maybe he was taking this whole ‘protection’ thing a little too seriously.

Sai breathed deeply.  _ Think of blue. Think of blue.  _ Glancing at the clock, Sai figured now was as good of time as any to leave.

Needless to say, Sai had only ever been over to Shikaku’s house a handful of times when Naruto was on missions by himself, when Sai was not able to accompany him on said missions or when Naruto just disappeared for a while like he sometimes did.

Sai gazed at the now crumpled paper of the Yamanaka girl—Ino, was Sai catching on to Naruto’s terrible habit of forgetting names? No. Even if he was, no one could be worse than Naruto at that— _ Ino’s _ address. Sai stood and made the decision to head to Shikaku’s house first.

**  
  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
  
**

Unlike the others, Shikamaru finished packing before he could even start (because apparently he couldn’t do it  _ himself,  _ to which his mother retorted,  _ ‘Oh I know you can do it yourself, but I also know you’ll stall for as long as possible.’ _ ) .  Lucky him.

As Shikamaru lazed around while his mother cooked something for the party in the little time they had left and trying to formulate a reason he couldn’t go, three distinct knocks sounded from his front door.

“Shikamaru! Be a doll and answer that for me?”

He groaned but dragged his feet to the doorway nonetheless.

Voila. It’s, wait for it,  _ Sai _ . Oh my gosh the suspense. Yes, Shikamaru was, too, at the edge of his metaphorical seat.

“Is her house just  _ that _ hard to find?”

Sai smiled his weird smile (though Shikamaru wondered if he even had a ‘normal,’ let alone ‘good’ smile, or if Shikamaru could even handle it if he magically learned to smile like a human) “I figured we could all go together,” he held up a bag he was holding, “I brought gifts.”

Sighing, Shikamaru yelled, “It’s Sai!” then left the not-frequent-enough-to-be-called-a-frequent-visitor-almost-common-but-not-unfamiliar Sai to his own devices at the door.

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

Eventually Choji and his parents arrived, Kiba, his mother and their dogs tagging along behind them, because  _ apparently _ the Nara’s were the hosts.

“It’s more festive if we all go together,” Ms. Tsume Inuzuka barked with a laugh.

He still didn’t get quite why they  _ needed  _ such an impromptu sleepover.

“It’s your first real mission tomorrow,” Choza smiled, “You guys deserve a celebration!”

While it was true one didn’t have a “first” mission very often (D-ranks didn’t count, they were banished from his vocabulary from now on), there seemed to be a hint of nervousness all around them, and Shikamaru couldn’t help but imagine it as some weird last meal ritual, “Yeah, I guess.” In the distance, Shikamaru could faintly make out a red… _ something _ flickering on the walls of the village before Choji pulled him back into conversation. He put it in the back of his mind; he’d take it as some sort of omen, for now.

Ino appreciated it, though, the it being them all appearing in a grand exodus from their homes at her front porch, as she greeted them at the door with a big smile; for as much as answering the door was fun, she didn’t want to answer the door. 

The remaining two members of the Team 8, 10 and Sai Super Septet arrived together.

“I passed Hinata on my way here,” Shino said, “I figured we’d walk together.”

As Ino pulled them away by the shoulders and led them out of the entryway to the literal buffet that Ino and her mother had managed to prepare in record time (yes, he’d agree they deserve a trophy for that one), she asked, “So are none of your folks coming?”

“Folks?” Shino asked.

“Oh you wish you were cool enough to rock ‘folks’ as well as I do.”

“Surely.”

Hinata ducked her head, “H-he, uh, didn’t want to come.”

Ino’s face soured, and she scoffed, “Hey, who needs him anyway? You're getting six weeks full of  _ me _ . Free of charge. Who could pass  _ that  _ up?”

“Doesn’t feel like a fair trade to me,” Shikamaru muttered.

“Hey!”

And when Ino inquired why Shino’s father hadn’t come (because it was now an unofficial ‘parents party,’ too), Shino gave a noncommittal shrug, “My father doesn’t believe in friends.”

Shikamaru left them at that, not wanting to hear Ino’s whole ‘friendship is magic’ tirade again, to talk with Choji and Kiba.

Okay, Shikamaru could admit…it wasn’t  _ bad _ . There was a lot of food. The adults huddled outside and drank (and Sai stayed rooted to his dad), Choji, Kiba and he talked and played shoji, and Ino, Shino and Hinata gossiped or whatever.

At one point, Ino did their nails. Shino opted out as he wasn’t too fond of them (his insects didn’t like the smell and Hinata’s nails took far too long), but Ino painted Hinata’s nails with a beautiful pale purple color to accentuate her eyes, completed with beautiful little flowers with rhinestones in the center. They were impressive.

The ‘they’ also included Shino and Hinata as their patience while Ino painted her nails was utterly  _ ungodly _ .

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

“Done!” She chirped, forcing Hinata to leave her fingers straightened and slightly curled while they dried. 

“They’re beautiful,” Hinata said with wonder.

“Aw, you’re too sweet.”

“It’s true, you are an expert at your craft,” Shino said, admiring Hinata’s nails.

Ino laughed, “Alright onto hair!”

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

A bit after that, Shino and Hinata were also left with quite glamorous hairstyles, and Ino yelled over at Shikamaru, “Yo! Shika! You owe me that two hundred ryo!”

“Geez, no way. It’s only been a day.

“Aw, you give me too much credit. It’s actually only been a few hours.”

Shikamaru groaned.

“Here, I can prove it. Shino? Hinata? We’re besties, right?”

They perked up, looked at each other, back at Ino and said:

“I-I guess, if that’s okay with you…” she fiddled her fingers and looked away with a blush.

“I do not oppose you calling us that if you wish.”

“Close enough! Shikamaru?”

He sighed and tossed her two hundred ryo from the wallet he procured out of his pack, “Fine, whatever.”

“You were befriending us…for a bet?” Shino asked.

“What?! No. I just needed a lil’ something to get my new best friends,” she said, handing over one hundred ryo to each of them. 

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

Eventually the boy to be their team leader was kicked out of the adults clique with the excuse “We’re not the team you're leading tomorrow!” and that he actually had to  _ talk _ to kids his age,  _ oh the horror. _

“Hinata, you coming?”

“Huh?” She looked up at Kiba peeking his head through the sliding door to the forest and patio outside. 

“The fireflies are out, we’re gonna go catch some. You coming?” Because apparently mere minutes after Sai had been kicked  _ inside _ , the adults called them all  _ outside  _ to see the fireflies.

“Yeah, sure!”

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

It was like some mystic adventure to a forbidden land. Hinata had never done anything like it before. The weights of life, duty and responsibility had been lifted off her shoulders by the great oaks surrounding her. All seven of them (eight, including Akumaru, but even Kiba had agreed for them to be counted as one to keep the name as the ‘Squad Sai Super Septet’ Shikamaru had ironically made up and had stuck) raced through the wilderness on silent feet, assimilated into the noises of the wildlife all around them.

Hinata had never felt she understood what it was like to act her age until now. The chilled breezed sending a shiver of excitement up her spine; the cooled soil under her toes feeling softer than any pillow or mattress ever could imagine being; the magnificence of the flowers and plant life sparkling in the moonlight that she could see  _ without  _ her Byakugan; the fireflies illuminating a hidden trail none of them could see but felt the call of, like the soft caress of a mother’s hand on a child’s cheek; and the idea of something she could never even conceive would be open to her being right  _ there _ , all  _ freed  _ her.

Maybe she was looking too much into what appeared to a simple exploration of a forest, but to her…

She felt part of something. She had never had friends before, and maybe it was too soon to say they were all that to each other, but, well…

For the first time she had hope.

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

“Ino,” Hinata whispered beside her.

“Huh?”

“Can I.. uh, help with your--”

Ino gasped, “You want to help at the flower shop!”

Hinata backed up a little at the exclamation, but nodded with a gulp, “I-If it’s not too much of a bother. I just...uh really like it out here.”   
  
Ino grasped her hands, eyes filled with wonder, “That would be  _ amazing _ .”   
  
  


* * *

**  
  
  
**

They had been right to heed the call. No matter how silly it sounded to repeat (they were not  _ crazy _ , thanks mom).

Set out before them was a clearing unlike anything any of them had ever seen before.

It was filled with fireflies.

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

No description could do it justice. Two streams passed along the side of it meeting at the entrance, encasing it in lush trees, flowers, herbs and bushes of which seemed to protect it. On the opposite end, a jagged cliff face formed an idealistic grotto, complete with naturally formed pillars at its entrance. It was open and had so much room to do, well,  _ anything _ . 

“Guys,” Ino breathed. “I think we’ve found our secret hideout.”

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

_ Okay _ , so the original plan was to fall asleep watching movies,  _ buuut  _ not anymore.

There were more important issues to deal with.

“Alright! The adults are definitely dead asleep by now, but they are highly trained shinobi. If we want to pull this off and properly defend the Squad Sai Super Sextet for the future, this needs to be perfect!” 

“Understood, Lady Hokage Ino!” the voices of the S.S.S.S. rang out.

“Lord Advisor Shikamaru! What’s the plan?” They had drawn straws to see who got what ranking. Of course it ended up this way. Ino was meant to be the leader. Shikamaru got the feeling she rigged it.

“Jonin Hinata and Shino, you will be stationed outside the perimeter. Hinata, with your byakugan you will stake out potential threats and report them to Shino while the other jonin and Anbu traverse the Yamanaka compound. If they're treading into precarious territory, Shino, you will use your insects to communicate with them. Understood?”   
  
“Understood, Lord Advisor Shikamaru!”

“Any ending words, Lady Hokage Ino?”

Lady Hokage Ino nodded solemnly, “The war against the Yamanaka compound has gone on long enough. But that ends tonight! I won’t lie to you, it’s been a rough two years--”

“Two years?” Choji asked.

“What’s wrong with two years?”

“It’s a little...lame,” said Shino.

Choji agreed, “It has to be powerful, you need to leave an impact.”

Ino sighed, “It’s been a rough five years.”

“Ehh,” Kiba said.

“ _ Fine. _ It’s been a rough  _ nineteen years _ ,” shouts of approval came from her army, “But we shall hide in the shadows no more. Tonight, we will be victorious!”

“Yeah!”   
  


* * *

**  
  
  
**

It was a tense fifteen minutes later when Lady Hokage Ino, Lord Advisor Shikamaru, Anbu Sai, Jonin Kiba and Jonin Choji exited the house with a sprint and a “Go, go,  _ go! _ ” after Kiba had almost ruined it for them  _ twice _ , Shikamaru caught Choji with his Shadow Possession Jutsu, Ino had almost  _ stepped on her passed out father’s head  _ if Shino hadn’t warned her in time, and Sai, well, Sai did well, actually. Amazingly well.

(He absolutely  _ didn’t  _ do all the work.)

If you had a question or needed advice, you went to Sai. He was intelligent, observant and very objective. The team took note of this very quickly and gained respect for him just as fast.

Case and point:   
  


“You know, Sai, I see a bunch of ninja running like that, with their arms behind them, why is that?”   
  
Sai was straightforward, blunt and, most importantly,  _ easy to understand _ , “It decreases air resistance, and once you learn to chakra run, your legs will be strong enough without using your arms to make you faster. It’s mostly used for sprinting, not long distances.”

“So they don’t teach it to us in the academy because we can’t chakra run?”

“Yes.”

“What’s a chakra run?”

“Running while pumping chakra into your legs to increase your speed.”

“Can you teach us?”

“I doubt your jonin senseis would be pleased if I did, but I could try later.”

Even Shikamaru was impressed.

“You're about our age, right? How come we never saw you at the academy?”

“Accelerated training program.”

“Why didn’t we get to try that?”

“It was an experiment.”

“Did it work?”

“Unfortunately no. The traditional training method seems to be effective enough.”

They asked him questions like that as they made a fort of blankets in the alcove of the cliff wall.

Like a makeshift bedtime story.

“Sai?”

“Hm?”

“Is it really just Sai?”

“Yes, that is my name.”

“Yeah, but what about your last name?”

“I don’t have one.”

“Oh. Why?”

“I never needed one.”

“Well, if you  _ did  _ need one, what would it be?”

“I suppose I’d ask to take the name of a close friend of mine.”

“Who’s that?”

“Naruto. I believe he’d be able to teach you how to chakra run quite efficiently, as well.”

And one by one, they fell asleep to the drizzle of the streams, crackle of the fire and murmur of Sai’s voice.

First it was Kiba and Akumaru, who passed out quickly after they drained themselves of their hyperactive energy; then Shikamaru, who no longer had the joint liveliness of Kiba and Akumaru to keep him up; Choji, who no longer had his best friend to strive to stay awake with; Shino, who realized enough was enough, and they had a mission the next day; Hinata, who had been trying to go to sleep for a long while now; and Sai and Ino. But no one remembers that far.

(In actuality, it was Sai who went to sleep last, using the last bit of his wakefulness to sketch the likeness of the hideout they’d claimed before him, color and all.)

It was a nice first sleepover. 

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
  
**

It was a very eventful day in Konoha (not that Naruto would know that, but still,  _ eventful _ ).

It was not in Wave.

Or whatever limbo they were in while they walked to Wave (because they couldn’t run. Sakura and Sasuke didn’t know  _ how  _ to chakra run. Nice going, Kakashi. And he guessed because Tazuna was there, too).

Naruto’ll give you a rundown of what he’s been seeing. Mist. More mist. And, if you could believe it,  _ more  _ mist. Oh, and his favorite,  _ even more mist. _

Conversations with Kakashi were lukewarm at best and one-sided at worst, Tazuna drank the entire time, Sasuke was…well, Sasuke, but  _ Sakura _ ?

God, Naruto would have gone  _ insane _ if not for Sakura.

“Hey, Naruto?”

“Huh?”

She traced three fingers on each side of her face, “Where’d you get your, uh, marks? Are they some kinda bloodline limit?”

Naruto saw the aloof Sasuke perk up at that. He can’t hide from Naruto. Maybe he was picking up Sai’s observational skills.

Naruto hummed, “I’m not so sure. I’m pretty sure I was born with them.”

“So it’s a clan thing?”

“No, the Uzumaki aren’t a clan. Or at least not one I’ve ever heard of. I’m the only one in Konoha with Uzumaki as a last name. Believe me, I checked.”

“What are they then?”

Sasuke decided now was a good time to join the conversation he had been eavesdropping (and believe him, Naruto could  _ tell _ , every time. He was not as sneaky as he thought he was) and scoffed, “Someone must’ve carved them out themselves, obviously.”

Sakura gasped, “That’s horrible!”

Sasuke gave her a deadpanned look, “They’re symmetrical.” Did Sasuke just try sarcasm? Wow. Impressive. Round of applause for him.

“Huh?”

“No matter how skilled you are,” Kakashi replied, also deciding to join in on the conversation, “no one can leave perfectly symmetrical and uniform lacerations on a person’s face. It’s just impossible.”

Sasuke nodded in agreement, but Sakura just looked ponderous, “So it’s not a clan thing, not a bloodline limit, hm. Naruto, lemme feel them.”

“Huh? Um…okay? Go for it?”

  
  
She ran a finger along the mysterious whisker marks of which even the bearer found enigmatic with an expression of consternation on her face, “They’re…scars.”

Naruto huffed, “I coulda told you that.”

“But…well, the pigment of your skin is darker there.”

“What does  _ that  _ mean?”

“It  _ means _ it’s a chakra thing.”

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
  
**

“Uh...I’m still not following.”   
  


It registered, somewhere in the back of Sakura’s mind, that Kakashi-sensei stiffened at her remark. 

  
Sakura sighed, “Have you ever heard of the Aburame or Inuzuka clans?”

Naruto scoffed, “Yeah, of course.”

“The Senju?”   
  


When Naruto didn’t respond after a few moments, she gave him the most unimpressed look to have ever crossed the earth, “What!? How am I supposed to know that!?”   
  
“ _ Like Hashirama and Tobirama Senju?” _

No answer.

“Okay. Wow. Like  _ the First and Second Hokage Senju?” _

“Oh! Yeah,” Naruto slapped his forehead, “Of course! Yeah, I know them.”

“Thank god. Anyway, the Aburame and Inuzuka clans are distinct relatives to the Senju clan--really distant. It’s where they get their ability to bond with nature at such a young age. A lot of prevalent clans in Konoha descended from either the Senju or Uchiha clans, actually.

“Both of those clans are born with a specific chakra that’s more intune with nature. Some other clans tattoo or paint marks like the Nohara with chakra or just plain ink, but if you’re born with them, it means that your specific chakra signature manifested it. The different chakra in your system alters your skin, which is why the marks are dark. I’ve just never seen it on anyone not from a clan. Or for it to form actual scars.”

The Aburame’s markings were more subtle than the Inuzuka. They were pretty hush-hush about it, but Sakura wasn’t one to give up easily on an interesting case, and came to learn their glasses were the manifestation of their chakra. Kind of.

She had asked one of the elders of the Aburame clan of whom was uncertain but not unwilling to elaborate. It just came down to no one being willing to listen. Sakura thought it a shame, seeing how powerful their bloodline actually was.

It wasn’t a dojutsu. But merely the development of their eyes, and thus, glasses. As an Inuzuka grew, so did the length of their ‘fangs,’ the red markings on their cheeks. The correlation between a dog and wolf’s fang (and connection) is reflected in their chakra, then on their skin, as it is an abnormality, so to speak.

As Aburame grew older, their glasses got more complex. Starting with basic spectacles and ending with something like an optic visor (though that was a level only the strongest in the clan could reach, something not even the current clan head has obtained).

The bond between the insects and the vessel grows. As do the goggles. Since the chakra cannot manifest easily with so many insects and with them all being so small, it takes form near their eyes.

As little freckles near and around their eyes.

Sakura thought it was cute.

They got darker and bigger as the bond (and the host’s chakra) developed, and the Aburame saw it as personal (as they were very personal people), so they hid it.

The glasses, goggles and visors helped conceal that and aid in their eyesight of which they were much more sensitive to because of all the chakra gathering near them.

It was no Sharingan or Byakugan, but as the Inuzuka had enhanced smell and hearing, the Aburame had enhanced vision and, surprisingly, touch. The millions of insects constantly moving and touching things might help with that.

Sakura was pretty sure the Aburame  _ invented _ glasses, honestly. Taking them off would be like asking Kiba or Naruto to take off their marks. It’s a part of them.

Their chakra interweaves with their glasses, in a sense. That’s why they don’t fall off in combat. The creation and choosing of the glasses was much more important than Sakura had ever expected.

Kakashi-sensei raised an eyebrow, “Well aren’t you a walking encyclopedia.”

Naruto looked like he’d never heard anything so wonderful in his life, “Really!? That’s so cool!”

She kinda went off on a tangent there, didn’t she? Snapping her attention back to the topic at hand, she asked, “Yeah, that’s why...Are you absolutely sure there’s no Uzumaki clan--”   
  


“Oh would you look at that,” Kakashi interjected, cutting Sakura off, “We’re here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I always wondered why no one questioned Naruto’s whisker marks. That Aburame glasses thing was not intended to be answered (and it kinda doesn’t make sense) but I got an opportunity and an idea and I roooolled with it. 
> 
> 2) Sometimes, amidst the action and drama in Naruto, we forget these characters are actually kids and should act like them. I didn’t expect this to be a recurring theme in this fic but, uh, it’s going to be a recurring theme in this fic.
> 
> 3) The other thing I should say but can't remember


	7. Friendly Fire Doesn’t Feel Too Friendly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too many injuries in too little days. Someone’s gotta keep a record.

_Seven…_

If Sakura could put into words what it was like to metaphorically ‘see the light,’ she’d point to the current image of Naruto, practically ascending in joy as he neared what looked to be a bridge.

Taking a running start, Naruto launched himself to the entrance and—

Tripped.

“Ouch,” Sakura winced, “That’s gotta hurt.”

Kakashi, however, didn’t bat an eye at the twitching boy, continuing forward as if nothing had happened.

“Is he alright?” Tazuna asked, side-eying the very prestigious Exhibit A: Uzumaki Naruto as he passed. 

Presently, Tazuna was in the middle of the makeshift star the team made, Naruto at the front, Sakura on the left, Sasuke on the right and Kakashi at the rear. 

Kakashi shrugged, “Eh, probably.”

“It looked like a pretty bad fall,” Sakura winced.

“Tripping on air would have that effect, wouldn’t it?”

“He’s still not moving, though—”

“Ah, Naruto. Let go of me.”

“Huh?” Sakura turned to find...

_Well, that was unexpected_ . Indeed, a fallen Naruto had seized Kakashi’s leg in an iron grip, and pleaded, “ _Kakashi,_ I _can't_ . You’ll have to carry me from here,” he sighed dramatically, “My ankle, it’s _broken_ —“

“Oh, I’m sure it is.”

“—I might just die if I try to walk.”

Kakashi stared at Naruto for a moment, and Sakura half expected him to continue walking whether or not Naruto was sewn to his leg, but to her _immense_ surprise, he sighed and hefted the boy over his shoulder, pack and all.

Sakura blinked.

“Remind me why I put up with you.”

“‘Cause I’m your _favorite_ person.” Puppy dog eyes protocol: initiated.

“If that’s what helps you sleep at night.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Sakura laughed humorlessly at Kakashi and Naruto’s antics, “Why does he get to be carried?”

Sasuke tilted his head towards her and raised an eyebrow.

Kakashi just shrugged, though, “He hurt his ankle.” 

“I think,” Sasuke said, “that the real question is whether _you_ want to be carried.”

Sakura spluttered indignantly but decided she was fine with sore ankles and tired feet after that.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


“Alright,” Kakashi said, mere moments after he crossed the threshold of official Wave Country, releasing a (somehow) sleeping Naruto to fall helplessly to the dirt with an audible _‘eep.’_

As he rubbed his head with one hand and the sleep from his eyes with the other, Naruto whined something along the lines of ‘What do you have against naps?’, ‘This has to be some sort of war crime’ and ‘Is how you treat all of your loveable ninja sidekicks?’ before Kakashi, as usual, shot him down, “I need you awake to deal with our hosts.”

  
  
Naruto blinked, eyes adjusting to the (albeit dim) light. “Hosts?” After mulling it over for a moment, his eyes suddenly snapped up, “Oh yeah!” Jumping up with renewed vigor, Naruto resumed his position at point with a “Let’s go!”

“Didn’t you just say he hurt his ankle?” Sakura stage whispered to Kakashi.

“Hm? Ankle…are you sure I said that?”

Sakura gave him a dry look.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


The rest of the walk was uneventful--as expected--until the moment Tazuna’s house came into view. 

A wide grin broke out on Naruto’s face, and he once again leapt forward, and--

_Didn’t_ trip.

Yes, bravo, bravo, praise him all you like, but no autographs, please, he has other, more important matters to deal with, like bursting through the front door of said house, ignoring the yelled warning, “Wait, Naruto!” from Tazuna behind him:

“Guess who’s back--” 

Naruto’ll let you in on a little secret. These ‘matters,’ _did_ not, in fact, imply he was _prepared to get hit with a kunai_.

And he meant that in the most bitter way possible. Don’t let the fact it missed his internal organs distract you, he just got a _kunai_ thrown at him and it _hurt_.

Yeah, maybe he should’ve knocked first.

Naruto fell back, stunned into silence, as three sets of footsteps came running behind him with a “Dammit, Naruto, I told you to wait!”

Numbly, Naruto registered Sasuke and Sakura coming up behind him, wrapping his left and right arm around their shoulders, respectively. He winced at the resulting flare of pain that shot throughout his entire body.

You know, getting a kunai chucked at you was _usually_ nothing to panic over. After all, as long as you knew how to block, dodge or take a hit, you’d be fine. As it was a _very_ unfair surprise attack, though, the first two options were out for him, but, indeed, Naruto knew how to take a hit. He was quite spectacular at it, actually. He probably deserved a diploma for his expertise in such a study. But, yeah.

That wasn’t a normal kunai, was it?  
  
Sakura gasped at the newly added ‘accessory’ to Naruto’s shoulder, “Holy crap!” but there were _certainly_ more important issues to deal with than that.

Throat constricting as if he was choking (which, yeah, he was), Naruto forced out a strangled “P-poison,” before the edges of his vision blackened and the beginnings of unconsciousness crept in. 

Shouting ensued--likely intelligent and coherent to everyone else but Naruto because, if you haven't caught on yet, he was _dying_.

“Shit, Tsunami! Get the antidote!”

“Naruto!”

From then onward, there was too much other white noise (his brain didn’t feel the need to register any of it, so he didn’t remember) flooding his ringing ears.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but smile as his senses steadily faded, because in the room he barged into filled with a measly three people (he’d have to find out that new woman’s name), all visibly armed and ready to fight, it was _Inari_ who threw that kunai.

He needed a nap anyway.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“Huh,” Kakashi said, eying the vial of purple poison that coated the various kitchen knives, throwing knives and a single kunai, “Must’ve been pretty strong to ‘ve knocked Naruto out. Where’d you get it?”  
  


“Actually, I made it myself. There’s quite a bit of herbs to experiment here. Oh, and I’m Kahyō, nice to meet you.” The woman, Kahyō, extended a hand.

Kakashi hummed, taking her hand in a friendly handshake, “Impressive. Hatake Kakashi of the Hidden Leaf.”

Kahyō’s eyes widened in barely suppressed recognition, “You’ve heard of me?”

She flushed and turned away, “Only in rumors.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, but before he could question it further, the other woman from before walked in with a pail of water. She dipped a cloth in it, wrung it then placed it gently on Naruto’s forehead.

“I’m Tsunami,” the woman said, smiling at Kakashi, “and that boy over there is my son, Inari. Naruto wasn’t...Ah, I knew I shouldn’t have gone along with it; we didn't mean for him to get hurt. I apologize.” She bowed deeply.

Inari looked up from gazing intently at the sleeping face of Naruto to smirk, “Yeah, we have a secret knock. We get ‘em if someone doesn’t use the knock. The poison was my idea, too. Auntie Kahyō’s strong, but we needed a backup for when she and you guys aren’t here.”

Kakashi nodded, mildly impressed. That was...quite intuitive. Though it wasn’t the greatest defense against ninja, most ignorant lackeys would enter through the front door. If they didn’t use the secret knock, Tsunami and the others would surprise them, but if they did, they’d know Tazuna had come back as, if he had somehow been captured, no one would think to force a specific knock out of someone to get to the others.

Tazuna sighed, “I tried to warn him. He just doesn’t listen, does he?”

“He prefers ‘selective hearing,’” Kakashi replied, “but he is Konoha’s signature knucklehead, I’ll give him that.” 

By now, it was well past nightfall. The sun had set soon after they arrived at Tazuna’s residence. Considering the trip to Wave would usually be spread out over five days, they had made very good time.

“Will he be okay?” came Inari’s voice from the silver haired ninja’s side, poking at the blond’s cheek curiously.

Currently, Naruto had his right shoulder bandaged under a loose shirt Tazuna had let him borrow as Kakashi didn’t want his gear to irritate his injury (and he definitely wasn’t sleeping shirtless).

This question seemed to wake the two genins from whatever trance they were in.

Indeed, Team 7 had made good time, yet his genin were extremely exhausted.

On Naruto’s right side was Inari, Kahyō and Kakashi. On the left was Tazuna, Sakura, Sasuke, and at his head, combing her fingers through his hair gently, was Tsunami.

And here Kakashi thought the only injury they had to worry about was Sakura’s from the Demon Brothers. She was poisoned, too, as a matter of fact. Is this going to be a pattern?

“He’s fine, just give him a few hours to rest, and he’ll be as good as new.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Kakashi had underestimated how long it took for Naruto to sleep, apparently, because as much as it was a core aspect of Kakashi and Naruto’s relationship to prove the older man wrong, Naruto had yet to wake up.

When it became evident he wasn’t going to surprise them all by scaring Sakura halfway to the sun again, Kakashi began finicking with the scroll he knew to store his food and snacks (it was mostly ramen, if you couldn’t tell).

His genin were starving and exhausted, and Kakashi couldn’t figure _out why he had so many protective seals on a storage scroll for ramen and bento._

Sasuke seemed zoned out, more so than the normal aloofness he portrayed, and Sakura was sleeping while sitting up.

Tsunami and the others had already eaten before they had arrived, Kakashi wasn’t going to make them prepare a second dinner and Tazuna had gone out to scour the local restaurants much earlier. 

Kakashi let out a relieved sigh when he finally opened the scroll, setting out a buffet of whatever was there _(this is your punishment, Naruto)._

Sakura woke up groggily, and Sasuke was somehow even more zoned out. He wasn’t glaring at his food, purposely ignoring them. He was struggling to eat, his eyes were distant; he almost looked dead.

He hoped Sasuke was just tired.

The rest of the night went by, oversaturated in exhaustion (as Kakashi’s body finally reminded him how much the jutsu he put on Sasuke drained him), and robotic movements as they set up their ‘camp’ in Tazuna’s living room.

Sakura had passed out the moment her head hit the pillow, and just as Kakashi himself was about to retire for the night, he found the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and his head swiveled to the window behind him.

By then Sasuke had fallen asleep as well, and Kakashi spent far too long scanning, staring at the inky blackness of the night.

There was nothing on the other side, however, sometimes, in his staring contest with the night, he swore he saw pale green eyes stare back at him.

Kakashi made sure to triple check the locks and his hastily made traps before he went to sleep.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


_Six…_

“Well would you look at that,” Kakashi said, squatting next to the small area of flattened grass before him.

It was the only sign of anyone or anything that gave his uneasiness from the previous night any merit within a reasonable distance of the house.

To call it a footprint would be putting the word to shame. Any normal person wouldn’t have noticed it at all or dismissed it entirely. The only reason Kakashi didn’t was because of his experience.

Of course Pakkun was grumpy when he summoned him for a third time in just as many days, but it wasn’t like Kakashi had the nose of a ninja hound. And hey, he did some of the work already what with finding the footprint and all.

Pakkun sniffed around it for a good few minutes, a look of complete concentration adorning his face.

With a huff of finality, Pakkun looked up, “There’s nothing.”

“Hm?” Kakashi said, refocusing his attention back on the pug.

“I said there’s nothing. There’s no trail.”

“So it’s not a footprint?”

“No, I’m sure it is. It’s fresh, too. There’s just nothing to track.”

Kakashi hummed, “Well of course it can’t be easy, can it?”

“Kakashi-sensei?”

Kakashi wiped the dirt off his pants, shoved his hands into his pockets and turned to greet one Uchiha Sasuke, “You called?”

“It’s past noon, you told us at breakfast you would start training us by now.”

Kakashi placed a hand on his chin and looked away ponderously, “Did I say that?”

Sasuke ignored him, “Why’s Pakkun here?” Then his eyes narrowed suspiciously, “Is something wrong?”

Kakashi waved him off, “Nope. Thought I saw something, turns out it was just an animal.”

“What animal?”

“Probably a bear. I heard their favorite snack was little genin with a penchant of being nosy.”

Sasuke eyed him, then yawned, “Well, can we get going?”

“Sure thing.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Kakashi left Sakura and Sasuke to their own devices back to Tazuna’s house.

He had intended to check up on Naruto, clarify a few things with Tsunami, strengthen the makeshift traps he set up last night, maybe even chat with some locals.

He hadn’t intended to spend the evening with Kahyō, but what can you do?

“Welcome back,” Kahyō said, bowing. “I was just making some tea, would you like some?”

Kakashi accepted with a smile (an eye smile that is), and made himself comfortable on the mat across from Kahyō at the short-legged table in the center of the room.

He thanked her for the tea, and for the first few minutes, the two sat in comfortable silence, soaking in the calmness of midday Wave. It was something that had always appealed to Kakashi, the tranquility of small countries like these. 

It was almost jarring how dissimilar it was from the Leaf; it was the ideal escape for any ninja, really. He supposed that must be why Kahyō liked it so much.

Kakashi pondered for a moment, wondering how he should go about this tactfully, but gave up halfway through, “So, the Land of Wave, huh? Quite a change from Kirigakure.”

Kahyō stalled, but when Kakashi met her eyes, they showed no signs of being caught: no anger, fear—only confusion, “E-excuse me?”

_She’s good._ Kakashi supposed she’d be an excellent spy.

Her voice was one laced with concern as if Kakashi had said something outlandish, “Are you alright, Hatake-san? Do you need more rest? I’m sure your journey was an arduous one.”

Kakashi was unfazed, “There was a footprint, and I got the distinct feeling of being watched last night. Care to elaborate?”

There were many things that clued him on. The poison, for one. Inari’s comment about how _‘Auntie Kahyō’s strong,’_ the fact she recognized him, and last but not least, probably the most subtle, is that who else but a ninja could teach a kid how to throw a kunai?

And even after all that, you couldn’t just hide a ninja’s ingrained habits from someone like Kakashi, someone with the Sharingan.

“You went home alone last night, I wonder why?”

“I have a son, I wasn’t going to leave him alone,” she said, just as confused-looking as before.

Kakashi sighed, yawing, and assumed a relaxed pose. _A False sense of security. Target thinks they're off the hook._ Quick as lightning, Kakashi whipped out a kunai and held it at the woman’s throat.

Her expression darkened, and the innocent and ignorant persona she was playing slipped away like water.

“Listen, I’ve got a team of two genin and a knucklehead that together form the single-handed _worst_ group of decision makers _in history_ up against one of, if not the hardest, foe they’ll ever face, and a family that’s falling apart after the loss of a son, husband, father, etc. etc., you get the point. What I’m saying, is I need something to decide whether or not I end your life here and now.”

She hadn’t killed Tazuna or abducted Sasuke last night, so she must have a different objective or Kakashi was missing something.

“I’d very much like to not ruin our kind hosts’ table with your blood, but I assume you understand the situation I’m in. Now, if it’s alright for you, I’d recommend talking.”

Kahyō sighed, “How’d you know?”

“Don’t take me for a fool, Kahyō-san. No civilian can make poison that could take Naruto out.”

“So I was right? He’s not your everyday ninja.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

“An eye for an eye, Hatake-san.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, “I’d tell you, but I’d have to kill you.”

Kahyō raised an eyebrow with a smirk, “Well you’re close enough already. So what is it? Is he a clone from the DNA of a former Hokage? An undercover agent of the Leaf’s secret police? Maybe…the son of some superpowered alien?”

“Is that what they teach you in the academy?” Kakashi chuckled, “Who’re you working for?”

Kahyō shook her head, “I don’t work for anyone. Odd jobs, sure, but when I left Kiri, I left for good.”

“Is that so?”

“The Bloody Mist has a very defined caste system, Hatake-san. There was no hope for my family. We’re not exactly treated with better respect here, but at least I know I can protect my loved ones.”

Kakashi eyed her impassively, “And how can I know that what you’re saying is true?”

Kahyō looked away, “You can’t.”

Kakashi hummed, “But?”

“But Tsunami is the closest friend I’ve ever had, and my son already lost his father. I will not allow you to take his mother, too, Hatake-san.

“Tsunami just lost Kaiza, and I’ll do anything to repay the only people in the world who have seen me as human.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, “If they had you, why recruit my team?”

Kahyō paused, looked away, then: “I believe I already told you.”

Kakashi looked at her, tried to find any cracks in her resolve before ultimately removing the kunai from her neck with a sigh, “Alright, I believe you.”

Kahyō released the breath she had been holding, absentmindedly rubbing her neck, “If you don’t mind me asking, why? You obviously don’t want your kids to bury you, either.”

  
Kakashi finished his now cold tea and stood, “The life of a ninja is cold and dark. Ideally, no one loves you, and you love no one. That way, you can accept the reality that one day, without warning, you won’t come home. I see that isn’t you, Kahyō-san.”

Kahyō went silent for a moment, “Thank you, Hatake-san. I understand how hard that must’ve been.”

Kakashi shook his head, “You’ll help us?”

“Of course. I hope you’ll find that I am very useful, Hatake-san. I won’t let you down.”

“Then I’ll be counting on you.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [At the Inn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23402041) by [Arrveolantrath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arrveolantrath/pseuds/Arrveolantrath), [InaudibleTacit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InaudibleTacit/pseuds/InaudibleTacit)




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